These are beautiful. Numbers 3,6,10, and 11 will be implemented immediately.
- At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
- Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
- Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “in.”
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write “for smuggling diamonds”
- Finish all your sentences with “in accordance with the prophecy.”
- Dont use any punctuation
- As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
- Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
- Sing along at the opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme?
- Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
- Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
- Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
- When the money comes out the ATM, scream “I won!, I won!”
- When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!!”
- Tell your children over dinner. “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
- And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity. . . Post this to make people smile. It’s called therap