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Anti-Idiot Cars

Posted by on July 21, 2007

I hope someone smarter than me (I’m the idea guy) can bring this to fruition. Just a simple electronic cerebral scanner placed over the driver in EVERY car ever built.

First you’d just get in and turn the key like normal, then the scanner is activated before the engine starts. Checks out your brain, and either starts the engine with a “PROCEED” or the key is sucked into the console and the prospective driver is told “I’m sorry but you’re an idiot and will most likely use this car as a weapon against yourself and others, please buy a bus pass or skateboard”. “Have a great day”

This would eliminate those driving at 100km/hr in the fast lane and refusing to move, people that don’t know you can turn right on a red light(in most provinces/states), and people who decide to reunite with old friends via 2 open windows in the middle of the road etc.

All of this can be eliminated with Anti-Idiot Devices. I wouldn’t stop at cars either. It could span the globe, Anti-Idiot Teacher Devices, Anti-Idiot Police Offices, Anti-Idiot Prospective Parents and most importantly Anti-Idiot Politicians. But in the case of the political leaders there is no vocal warning, strictly an electric shock that paralyzes the tongue for 1 year. This Anti-Idiot version needs a surprise attack so they can’t avoid it, so it will be administered via a fake bible during any swearing in ceremony. Which is funny because there’s likely to be a lot of swearing.

As George Carlin once said, its thoughts like these that have kept me from attending any of the really good schools.

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