This isn’t going to be your typical male praising of supple breasts, shapely legs, and spank durable asses; its not even going to cover girly smells (which all men secretly love).
But first let me explain the week I’ve had. I’ve missed 3.5 days of work and lost 5 days of my life due to what I’m convinced is severe food poisoning. Either that, or an ex-girlfriend has recently managed to put her Voodoo classes into action. So kudos to her.
As you may or may not be aware this kind of illness comes delightfully packaged with a number of different bedmates. Headache, vomiting, stomach cramps, fever, and if telling people you have the runs made you cool, I’d be George Clooney.
But lets get back to cramps. Nothing puts more of a dump on your day (no pun intended) then spending the better part of it doubled over in pain like an international soccer star is practicing penalty kicks on your intestines. Through the madness of this, I oddly found time to think about what this could be compared to.
I decided that if this past week is anything like what menstrual cramps are like for the billions of women out there… that sucks.
Let me take this moment to make an honest and solemn pledge that if my next girlfriend has bad menstrual cramps… its over.
Quickly. Silently. Eternally.
During this week if anyone bothered me, if I had had a gun I would have emptied a round of bullets into THEIR stomach, “There, YOU tell me how it feels!!” And there’s no way I want to be on the receiving end when emotional magnum goes off.
But for those women that do go through it, my heart goes out to you. I think when your life ends you should be honoured and worshipped like a war hero.
That is all.