And it is in fact reality that screams in our faces to pay attention to the world around us, the people around us, and not merely let the days we have continually appear in our rear view mirrors.

Personally, I struggle with this. As I sometimes find myself focusing on the future, I forget to be an active participant in my own present.

A good friend of mine, wiser than she recognizes, once wrote about herself:

The consciousness of my own mortality often prevents me from performing menial tasks.

The profound simplicity and naked truth of this sentence always impresses me. At first glance this may look as if it were written by someone who acts as voyeur in this life, but quite the opposite. In my opinion, when you come to truly appreciate the beauty of the life we all have, only the thought of your own mortality can slow you down.

But how do we pay more attention?

Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

—Ferris Bueller

This is the trick, learning to look around once and a while. I don’t practice this enough, but several years ago a good friend taught me a lesson in life awareness that I truly believe every should practice…

How To Walk Like A Macedonian

In 2005 I was transferred from my position in Toronto to work and live in London, England.  During my stay I was fortunate enough to meet a co-worker who would become a lifelong friend (for this story lets call him Vlad).

While in London my working hours ran from noon to 8pm.  As there were only two of us that had been transplanted from foreign soil we were essentially forced to either hang out together or function as an island.  Luckily we hit it off.

Most evenings after work began the same way.  Vlad and I would exit the office at Cavendish Square, walk to Oxford Circus, and decide which way to go look for dinner. From Oxford Circus we’d wander around central London like two vagabonds discussing everything from politics, to relationships, to our careers (or “jobs” as it were) and back. No topic seemed out of bounds and neither side feared debate. And realistically our sole qualifiers for a venue to eat at (from my memory) was that it was new, or that it was pizza we could carry to the arcade.  Yes, simple times.

Oxford Circus

By the end of the first month, Vlad and I were beginning to function like two old friends that had known one another for years. So one night as I began my always quick paced walk into the night, I heard Vlad behind me say, (this next part will all be paraphrased as it has been 5 years so cut me some lack would ya).

“Mike, where the hell are you rushing to? Every night we leave the office and you nearly start sprinting forward to nowhere. I’m tired of keeping up for no good reason.  I think it’s time I taught you to walk like a Macedonian.”

“That sounds great Vlad, but I don’t know if I can drag my knuckles.” (I didn’t say this at all, but it would have been hilarious it I did.)

Vlad began to discuss with me how, as he would sit in the town square in Macedonia he would watch the old men walk with their friends; Slowly, peacefully, with no where particularly  to go.  Vlad said that they seemed at ease and that as he tried it he noticed a big difference in his own perspective as well… so what the hell, I gave it a shot. Its not like I had anything else to do.

Vlad and I began our almost nightly walk through Leicester Square at a pace that made turtles look at us and say, “Right on my brothas, right on.”

No agenda. No place to be, and no direction was the right direction.

This exercise was much more difficult than I anticipated. To walk with purpose and direction is simple. You move forward swiftly, with your head up and prepared to dodge and move. In London that also means to watch you do not take an umbrella in the retina.

Vlad had me slow down so that each step would almost fall into the other, like a graceful stumble, with no further purpose but to stay erect(insert childish laugh) and edge forward.

To walk like a Macedonian takes skill and the ability to relax, to disconnect, which at most times I do not possess.  But as I began to walk lock and step with Vlad I found some amazing changes begin to take place.  My breathing slowed, my muscles relaxed, and for the first time since I had landed in the UK… I could see.

I mean reeeaally see.

Even when I had gone sightseeing on my own during the weekends I found myself on a mission, a mission to see the city of London.

Ipod- Check

Camera- Check

Wallet- Check

Map-Check

Mission is a go.

Deploy to tube station and commence sightseeing…GO! GO! GO!

Even when I was relaxing I was rushing, but not this time.

As I strolled through Leicester square I WAS in the moment.

I could see the pedestrian approaching, not as an obstacle on my path, but as a person living their life in the same space as mine.

During this walk I remember laughing as if someone had told me a joke, because truthfully, the joke had been my speed walking to nowhere mentality, and the punchline was what I had been missing.

Sometimes we have to force ourselves to look around, because it’s not about what’s in front of us, it’s about what is around us, and who we surround ourselves with, be it, friend, family, or stranger. It was a beautiful experience.

Please allow me to be clear on something, I am not saying I walk like a Macedonian full-time now, hell, I’d never get anywhere, but I make sure that every so often I slow myself down so to fully acknowledge where I am.

Several times I have been walking with a friend who would be speed walking to nowhere and I’d spend ten minutes telling them the story of Vlad and teaching them, no matter how long it takes, how to walk like a Macedonian.

Now should I ever catch myself running through life, looking ahead without knowing where my feet are, I am thankful for the gift of the Macedonian Walk, and the gift Vlad gave me that will surely last a lifetime.

Life may not be as long as we would prefer, but if we are able to breathe in the moments we cherish in all their glory, just maybe we can make the memories last a lifetime.

I had an hour to accomplish my goal, return some Christmas presents, and leave with enough time to make it to my next appointment, such is life.

I parked in a random spot, and upon entering the mall I see Subway realized I was hungry.  After finishing my sub I start making my way towards the store.

On my way to the store I bump into an old friend of mine and we begin chatting about the holidays, our lives, and she asks me to join her in Guess to give my opinion on a couple outfits she wants to buy. I look at my watch and realize, why not, who am I to deprive this girl of my opinion on her fashion choices.

 After a fashion show worthy of Next Top Model, we part ways I manage to get back on track, my deadline is looming.

 As I get to the store my phone rings and I instinctually answer, it’s a friend of mine that needs some input on a project he is working on. I look at my watch and decide to give him 5 minutes.

20 minutes later I am in returning my items and realize I have left my receipt in the car and must retrieve it.  After returning from my trip back to my car on the other side of the mall, I return my items and stand there watching the clerk impatiently, while tapping my foot like a 6 year old who hasn’t peed since recess.

 All in all, I was 15 minutes late for my appointment.  This is just one example of how distraction leads all of us to incomplete objectives or sloppy results.

This entire situation could have easily been avoided if I would have done the following to remove the possibility of distraction and interruption.

•  Take 2 minutes to call the store to access their location in the mall and park my car outside the nearest entrance
• Leave my phone in the car
• Eaten after my goal was completed. Nobody ever died because they went an extra 15min without food.

 In today’s society we are all victims to distraction and it is the one giant factor keeping most of us from truly unlocking a side of our minds just brimming with human potential.

 Regardless if the cause is email, text messaging, phone calls, empty relationships, family members, negative thinking or even a bladder that has you in the bathroom every 20min (by the way, you might want to get that last one checked out), all of these are DISTRACTIONS and INTERRUPTIONS.

 We never seem to realize that these small interruptions are keeping us from being the productive, positive, healthy, people we want to be.

 Consistent notable productivity is IMPOSSIBLE with distraction and interruption.

 So today I have chosen to change this and started the 90-Day Wake Up Productive program by Eben Pagan (who runs a $20 million online business as well as business coaching).

 In the introduction video, Eben lays out the 11 Principles of Productivity:

Here are the principles I found most important and my opinion and explanation of them:

 #2 Time Management Is Not About Time At All, But About Managing Ourselves

  We all want to believe that we are different from everyone else, that we are special, and that we function independently from everyone else.   This is both arrogant and misguided. The vast majority of humans function in exactly the same. We are creatures of deep rooted habits.

 We like to think that we CHOOSE to be how we are, when in reality, if you take an overview snap shot of your life, you will find you are likely the same person you were at age 16.  Of course, the externalities of your life have changed, but YOU are pretty much the same.  

 We do not choose success or failure like we choose combo number 3 at Taco Bell. Instead, we must manage ourselves to ensure a level of productivity we are not currently accustomed to.

 #4 Habit IS Destiny

 This adds to principle #2. Once we accept our commonalities as humans, we can begin to deconstruct who we are, so to begin developing structured systems to slowly remove the habits we have built throughout our lives.  

 Once these old counterproductive habits have been removed we can slowly begin to create new, life affirming habits that keep us more positive, more productive, and more forward moving.

 “First you shape your habits and then they shape you”

 #7 Your Future Can Be An Extension Of Your Past Or Something New That You Create

 You can see the principles that resonated with me have a pattern.  I believe it’s important to always

reassess the person you are, make immediate changes where you see deficiencies and dangerous habits.

 If you find your entire existence is merely a reflective of the friends you keep (which is often the case) and you are not happy with your life, your answer is simple, it’s time to sever those relationships and forge new ones.

 Remember, I said the answer is simple, but I never said it was easy.

 #11 If You Want To Wake Up Productive, You Must Take Your Thinking To The Next Level

 “You can never solve a problem on the level in which it was created” – Albert Einstein

 If we are to become the people we wish we could be, we cannot accept our current knowledge, wisdom and habits sufficient.  We must FORCE ourselves to evolve.

 All of these principles have already challenged me to give presence and value to all of the distractions I know have been robbing me of productivity, yet I have done nothing to avoid.

 Here is the short list:

•  My Blackberry- phone calls, emails, text messages, instant messaging, blah blah, ahhhhh!!
•  TV shows- this one is going to be difficult. I have to cut out 80% of the shows I currently watch and set up structured times or a set number of hours for leisure television. I mean seriously, I watch waaay too much House. It’s a flat out problem.
•  Facebook- Within the last month I have almost completely have Facebook under control and am quite pleased with myself.
•  Negative thinking – I have quarantined off most of this side of my brain for the majority of last year, but now I think it’s time to put it to sleep entirely.
•  Negative Relationships- These are friendships or acquaintances that require more time and energy than they give back in positive emotions. We all have these, and I address it more in a post you can find —– HERE

 To write this post, I had to turn OFF my Blackberry and my wireless connection on my laptop, lock myself in my room in total silence and vow not to check email until this first draft was completed.

 I must admit that my mind is going a bit crazy, raging against my desire to single-task focus, but I already feel a little bit more productive. 

 We all have to remember that we are our own worse enemies and that we cannot simply CHOOSE to be different people, we have to FORCE that change.

 If anyone has any questions about productivity that I may be able to help with, please feel free to get in touch.

 Here is to a productive 2010!!

 Happy New Year!!

We get up and brush our teeth, wash away our less than pleasant aromas, go to work, deal with it on a reactive level, come home,  maybe make a little dinner, watch a little TV, and get ready to shut ‘er down and start it all over again the following day.

Personally, fitness is just one weapon I use in my arsenal to break up this boring cycle.   Three or four times a week I’ll step into a gym, or onto a running trail and tell myself, “Self, you are going to be better than you were the last time we were here.”  Then I don’t just “work out”, I train.

To be stronger. To be faster.  To be better than I current am.

I admit that I am learning to train harder and push myself a little harder but like everything worthwhile, it’s a process.

Sometimes I fail, sometimes I succeed, but after each challenge I put myself through I learn a little more about whom I am what I am capable of.  This way, I am forced to face the results and myself, for better or for worse.

My findings have been the more I challenge myself, the better the person I become.  Or at least I have a better understanding of my weakness so not to play to them in the future.

In the past I’ve challenged myself to things like a 24hr fast,  with very successful results. I’ve also set goals of strength for my bench press (2- 45lb plates), the Squat (300 lbs), and the Deadlift (300 lbs).  So far I’ve hit 1 of 3 targets, but again, it’s a process.

My fasting challenge alone has shifted my weight lifting and nutritional paradigms away from the traditional bodybuilder mindset into a new and more informed view of eating and training.

I have also given myself will power exercises to improve my personal productivity. I’ve boycotted Facebook and MSN messenger for extended periods of time, usually 30 days (some failures, but mostly successes),  simply to see if it increased both my productivity and quality of life.

But last week I set up another gauntlet…

On June 14^th, while disposing of several Campari and Sodas in the midst of a rather lengthy discussion on the rampant short-term and long-term consequences of alcohol consumption, not only on fat loss goals and muscle building, but on the body in general, I was presented with the coles notes version of the following information:

Here are a summary of alcohol’s effects on fat loss and muscle building:

• A small portion of the alcohol is converted into fat
• Your liver then converts most of the alcohol into acetate.
• The acetate is then released into your bloodstream, and replaces fat as a source of fuel.
• Alcohol increases appetite

Alcohol affects testosterone levels
Not only does alcohol put the brakes on fat burning, it’s also one of the most effective ways to slash your testosterone levels. One fun night of heavy drinking raises levels of the muscle-wasting hormone cortisol and increases the breakdown of testosterone for up to 24 hours. The damaging effects of alcohol on testosterone are made even worse when you exercise before drinking.

Nutrient deficiency
Alcohol also affects the body’s ability to break down proteins, carbohydrates and fats. Too much alcohol in the blood can lead to a deficiency in Vitamins B1, B2 & B3, as well as magnesium and zinc. These nutrient deficiencies can eventually cause weakening of the heart muscles, poor skin, arthritis and prostate gland disorder.

The bottom line
While an occasional drink or two every now and then is not going to affect the body negatively, excessive drinking will not only put the brakes on your fat loss efforts, it will also prevent you from building muscle tissue. So the hard no-nonsense truth is that if you’re looking for a leaner, stronger body, alcohol just doesn’t mix.

The bottom line is that alcohol and a leaner, stronger, better looking body just doesn’t mix. Not to mention all of the other side effects on the rest of your organs.   For a more detailed and easy to read summary of alcohol’s effects on the body click —-> HERE

With this new knowledge in my hands, I’ve decided to start my first: 30-Day Challenge With ZERO Alcohol.

Now just to be clear, I am obviously not a heavy drinker to begin with.  I do however, enjoy the odd glass of red wine in the evening, and when the weekends come I have been known to be seen with more than a couple Heineken or Corona in my hands.    I am absolutely a victim to good advertising.

But for the next 30 days you won’t see me with one beer, nor a sip of wine, or even a Campari and soda (sooo very good).  It’s all gone for 30 days.

But this decision was not made in haste, because as the start of summer could be seen just over the horizon, I wanted to make sure that I was sacrificing my first four weeks of patio and bbq weather for a good reason, umm the greater good, if you will.

This past weekend I happened to be hanging out with a close friend of mine Sacha Ragueneau who had just won a World Competition in fitness modeling, and is also a successful bar owner in Montreal, Quebec. If there is anyone that could tell me the cost/benefit equation for boycotting alcohol it was Sacha, and he did not disappoint.

Here is Sacha on competition day:

This is your body without Alcohol

Sacha said after two weeks healthy eating and zero alcohol, “My bed was like a trampoline,” He told me. “every morning I would spring out of bed and have more and more energy every day, honestly Mike it was amazing.” That testimonial was enough for me.

I challenge all of you to either take this challenge with me or at the very least, come back and visit and I will keep you posted on my progress… or utter and total failure.

And FYI- with a weekend of birthday BBQs, summer patio parties and a reunion dinner that just passed, this challenge may have already bit the dust.

I wish you all the best of luck in your own personal challenges, be it physical or emotional.  I will update you soon.

In my eyes, this almost tribal ritual of rationalization typically starts popping up a few years after high school, you know, around the time people start doing some really stupid shit, and then hits its stride after a few major regrets start settling in.

I’m not sure how it happened, but somewhere from opposable thumbs to Oprah’s book club, we began believing there’s an inverse relationship between having regrets and being happy with the person you are. As if its similar to the relationship of being a Dane Cook fan and being capable of intelligent conversation.

As with the majority of popular social paradigms this is another that sinks under further scrutiny. The No Regrets crowd, as I’ve experienced them, tend to fall into two main groups; Those that seem to have a list of not so great decisions longer than George W.(who seems to be a great case study for this)  and those that have never really made any decisions that weren’t “safe”, or A-typical. One tribe trying to justify its misfortune, while the other clinging to its mediocrity as a trophy.

Our regrets are the lessons we gain from living.  Never have I met a very interesting and self-aware person that evolved and grew from the path of least resistance.

I learned long ago that aside from those decisions that may physically or emotionally harm someone else, it is better to act, fail miserably and learn than regret non-action.  Even today I struggle with task of springing into productive self-motivated action vs. the fear of failure. I still recall learning my first lesson in this course as a hormonal teenager on the prowl for girls at local dances.

Now gather ’round as I tell yee my story…

Every weekend my fifteen year old posse and I would head to whichever local venue would be hosting an “all-ages party” and find a place to hold up the wall and take in our surroundings. Being the consummate adventurer, I would wander throughout the crowd with my ‘too cool for school’ face on, all the whilst trying to stop the fear of the opposite sex from running down my leg. Each week I would my eyes would fall on yet another girl and fall deeply, madly, and desperately in love. With each love induced coma also came the paralyzing fear of having to approach her, and would therefore return home each week kicking myself as mother added insult to injury by asking the rude question of, `How was your night?`

One weekend my posse decided it was time for a change and -parental transportation permitting- Hamilton Roller Gardens would be our new Saturday night hang out.  From my first step in the door I saw her, long dark hair, reddish shirt, and a pack of cigarettes tucked into her back jeans pocket like she was auditioning for *Grease*(seriously!). Yet again, I was in love.  For the first two weeks at our new hang out I’d spend our entire time ignoring my friends and plotting a way to approach her without vomiting in my mouth or tripping over my tongue.  In both instances I failed to act and spent the following days in a pity of teenage angst and self-loathing.

During our third visit I had enough courage to walk near her and say something in passing, a drive-by, if you will- more self-loathing.

By the time week four came around I had enough of this act one tragic play, and I’m pretty sure my friends had enough of my girlish crush. This week it was time to man up.  Around the end of the night, Boyz II Men came on and I strapped on my emotional parachute and jumped.  I marched through the crowd of future Proactiv customers and up to my nicotine Queen.

“Hi, I’m Mike.  Would you like to dance?” I studdered out though I had rehearsed it a million times.

“Sure”

The crowd goes wild, this was the love of my life. We would have three children and if required, I would carry them myself. Nothing could top this feeling of accomplishment and success.

The song wound down.

“Thanks!” She said as I removed my hands from her hips and we smiled at one another.

We would be telling our grandchildren about this moment, I could feel it. There was just one minor detail to get out of the way and we were off to live our lives together.

“Would you mind if I got your phone number?” My wording was flawless, I was starting now to be impressed with my inner Rico Suave.

“Sorry, I have a boyfriend.” she said, and at this point I may have went temporarily deaf to shield myself from any additional information. I probably muttered out a “cool”, or something similar before slinking back to my friends.

As our evening came to a close and I got into the minivan of my friend’s mother, when again confronted with the question of how our night went something surprising happened, I smiled.  I had overcome my biggest fear of the moment, took a hit, yet was somehow still alive.  I was already thinking about next time, ‘find out if the girl has a boyfriend, THEN ask for her phone number’. Got it.

As juvenile as this story is, I keep it as a firm reminder that there’s growth in regret, in fact, I prefer it over living in a world of fear, or boredom.  The sole regret to be avoided like the plague, is the Regret of Inaction.

To act is to learn. It gives us data from which to act further. Yet to live in a world of what ifs, or what may have been, I can only imagine is like a prison with no bars, no walls, and also no escape.  A constant reminder of missed opportunity.

The last time I checked we’ve all only been allotted one life, although it seems most of us live like we’ve got another one stashed away for safe keeping. This is not to say there is no satisfaction in the planned and expected, but realize that your regrets are not to be forgotten, but cherished.