Have you ever been in a room with a few people, maybe even at a party, and the whole group has been rambling on about some inane topic and all you can think about, are all the other ways you could be spending your time?

Maybe it’s just my perspective, but aside from paying my mortgage and the health of me and my loved ones, there’s not much else that I really find that important.  Sure, I have my audacious and ambitious goals for the future, and plans for success, but when it all comes down to it, as long as the people I love are safe (from diseases, heart attacks, nuclear and/or natural disasters), and I’ve got enough money for next month’s payment…. I can’t really find the energy to give a shit about some of the other topics people seem to devote so much of their lives to.

I think I kind of know when I started down this path.

In 2000, long story short, I thought I had a fatal illness.  Thankfully, after one last minute canceled surgery and another completed surgery I found out that I didn’t. But I believe it was during that time that I realized how truly precious life is. That no matter how difficult things can get from day to day, as long as you’re still breathing and moving along… everything is going to be okay.

I know it’s not easy.

If a bus runs through a puddle and soaks you from head to toe, that reeaaally sucks.

Maybe the love of your life loving is now someone else’s life, double sucks.

But tomorrow is another day…

I remember in 2005, when I was living in London, England and was having a really tough time hitting my sales quota
in my new environment. I don’t know if it was the new team, the product I was selling, or maybe I just hated the job so much I wasn’t willing to put in the effort; regardless, it was tough.

Everyday I used to walk out of the office at the end of my shift around 8pm, stressed to the max.  Almost every night I used to go for dinner with a good friend of mine who worked in the production side of the business. Every night this poor guy would hear my daily rants, and offer an ear.  But one day he decided to lend some words as well, and I will never forget this exchange:

HIM– “So let’s say you don’t hit your numbers this month, and let’s say you don’t hit your numbers for the next
3 months… what’s the worst that can happen?”

ME–   “Are you drunk? I’ll get fired”

HIM– “So..?”

ME– What do you mean so? I. Will. Be Fired.”

HIM– “So you find another job? Its just money.  Its not like they’re going to kill you.”

Of course, this got a good laugh out of both of us, and quickly defused my anxiety.

We discussed the topic a little more, as I had a really tough time wrapping my head around his, “It’s just money” comment, but in the end, he was right.

The rest of the night was spent in a totally stress-free state of mind as my friend and I decided at 26 years old, to find ourselves a couple Bounty Ice Cream bars, an arcade, and just have some fun. It was a great night.  One that we gladly repeated various times throughout our working together.

The next day, I went back to work.   And surprise surprise, I never did get fired.  However, six months later, at the height of my earning potential, I was so unhappy there, I quit.   Remember… it’s just money.

I think its too easy for a lot of us in western society, especially of us that are in the middle, or upper middle-class, to lose our perspective and sight of what’s really important.

Lets take me for example: With my new business, I have done pretty well for myself in the past year.  In 2010 I am proud to say I achieved an income above six-figures and an independent lifestyle, which was my short-term goal.

So that probably, give or take, puts me in the richest top 2% of the entire world.  If you’re reading this, you are probably in that 2% as well, if not the top 5%… OF THE WORLD!

There are billions of people on our planet that each and every day, wake up, and they don’t know if they’re going to make it to the end of the day.

Some don’t know where their next meal is coming from, how they’re going to feed their children, or if, in their entire lifetimes they will be able to know what it feels like to live in a country without war and oppression.

My biggest problem today was that my wonderful girlfriend and I couldn’t figure out how to schedule our evening.  Dinner? Movie? Dinner and a Movie? Go to a show? No, maybe a club? Maybe some sexy time later?

So to face this brutal challenge, I made myself a sandwich, read a book, took a nap, and when I woke up it was sorted out.   Geez, what a nightmare that was.

Sure, that’s a light problem day, but even on my worst days, things are still relatively, pretty awesome.

I know it sounds hilarious, and that’s simply because the dichotomy of our world is so completely absurd that our initial reaction is to laugh… but let’s be serious, it’s pretty fucked up.

We have billions of human beings that cannot afford a $1 hamburger and don’t have access to clean water. And yet, instead of finding ways to help our own species survive, there are people out there who spend the better part of their days lobbying governments against the right for two people of the same gender that love each other from getting married.  I mean, where are our sensibilites?  And that’s just one example of a group of people that are waaaay too numerous for us to consider our society ‘civilized’.

Also, maybe we could dial down the importance of ESPN SportsCenter’s highlights and start understanding that professional athletes are, in reality, much less important than your local garbage man.    What was that? Did I see the amazing game last night? No, I didn’t, sorry, maybe I’ll catch one of the next 3000 that are on TV this month.

We get so overcome with the benality of life that we give the most unimportant decisions, events, and issues too much gravity in our lives.

Does it really matter if your fancy watch is real or fake? (does it make the time move any slower?)

Whats the matter? I can’t get my TV in a 48″ plasma, I have to take the 42″ instead? What a tragedy.

Now don’t get me wrong, I still get bent out of shape for the stupidest of things too, but I do try REALLY hard to not get sucked into the idiocy that surrounds us all.

These big issues are difficult for any of us to focus on, but maybe if we all just had a little more perspective, or perhaps a touch better grasp on things in our lives that really do matter, we could stop spending our time with all this other bullshit.

Because the reality is, for most of us, we need to relax.  They can’t kill us…

The mere fact I allowed myself to get involved in a debate with two catholics about religion, for over an hour, was my first mistake.

The more logical thinkers I meet and discuss life, religion, and philosophy with, the more I am told to choose my conversations based on an understanding of listening and mutual respect, not on circular religious debate. Better to speak through open windows than closed doors.   More and more I see what they mean, but only to an extent.

If you choose only to embark on discussions of faith and fairytale that is religious based reality, with those that are in your corner, it furthers no one’s point of view, merely your own ego.  Which is I think I truly enjoy, as much as they might bother me, a debate with those who clearly see the holes in their faith, yet still shield themselves from the blinding light of truth that shine through.

No two opinions collide more violently than those of believers and non-believers, and in this context I wish to use the term ‘believers’ as those that believe in the religious doctrine, not specifically that of a superpowered, magical being who allows football players to make amazing touchdown receptions.

My only problem with this sort of debate is being referred to as “stubborn”, because to me, that is a clear indication that I am no longer engaged in discussion. My company is now clearly focused in a defensive win or lose war and not in a sharing of opinions and open minds.

Dictionary.com defines Stubborn in the following way:

unreasonably obstinate; obstinately unmoving: a stubborn child.

In the context of friendly discussion and debate, should one person say, “I cannot believe how stubborn you are being” means they believe that I agree with their opinions but am purposely not admitting so because I wish to be correct. This is not just arrogant and close-minded, but it also removes any positive benefit of having a discussion.

I have discussions, both to refine my points of view vs. an intelligent sounding  board and hopefully gain new and hopefully more accurate perspectives into the topic at hand.

But I admit, getting to this realization has come from years of my looking at people and thinking, ‘Why is this person being so bloody stubborn? They obviously see what I mean and know I’m right.”  Once I realized the arrogance of my perspective I began to learn through discussion in a much more meaningful and self-evolving manner, mainly because all of my interactions became more valuable and obvious to me.”

I started to realize that, surprise surprise, the majority of these people I had been speaking with, were not stubborn (in the definition above) at all.  So that left me to accept two possible alternatives:

#1 I was not properly communicating my message so to resonate with them, meaning I had to refine my evidence and perspective more accurately and simply so to engage my partner better.

#2 (and most important) I should listen more carefully to what my partner is saying and try to understand their perspective as there may have been something I have been overlooking.

Let’s take last night’s religious debate for example.

I will never agree with anyone that religion is good for humanity or that the catholic church specifically is not  totally irrelevant and harmful to the planet.

Now, let me be clear on something.

I do not say NEVER in this context because I am being stubborn and refuse to listen to opposing perspectives, I say never, because throughout the last 4 or 5 years I have done a lot of reading, research, and discussing on the matter and I am fully informed on my opinion and why I believe what I do.  I have chosen my side of the fence for a reason, whereas  most christian opinions are based, still in fairytale and not able to properly deal with the reality of religion’s impact on our lives.   This also does not mean that there are not some positives within christianity, but in my opinion, the bad is an irremovable by-product of the good.

Somehow through this frustrating yet interesting debate, I managed to take a few very important perspectives away from my discussion last night.

I think I have a better understanding of how some christians almost talk themselves into apathy and continuing with the faith, even when the evidence is clear as day. I also learned how to better form my own thoughts into words on such matters, so to faciliate a better dialogue with those viewing me simply as ‘stubborn’ for not agreeing with them (or even why they may be thinking that in the first place), this was very valuable.

When you value the people you engage in discussion with, to at least take the time to see through their eyes is very important.  You may not like the view, and in fact, it may even be frightening on a macro level, but at least you took the time to open your eyes.

I now always make sure, at least internally, I take a moment to appreciate those that care enough to share their opposing opinions with me and at least attempt to listen.

Anyone can talk at someone, but as I am still learning, it is an ongoing skill to be able to listen and speak with someone while leaving pride and ego at home.

Here is a good quote from a FB profile of a good friend of mine that I’ve always enjoyed:

The recipe for perpetual ignorance: Be satisfied with your opinions and content with your knowledge

Thanks for reading.

Think about it.

He’s omniscient, all powerful, uber forgiving, and all those other neat super powers you can read about in Bible Comics. 

In what occupation in this planet can you combine the power, influence, and fame that is blindly given to high-celebrity, with the lack of accountability most of our school teachers currently enjoy? That’s right, there’s only one…

The Supreme Being.

Supernatural Overlord. 

The big…G-O-D.

Think about it.

Let’s say Johnny Christian finds out his best friend Skippy has cancer. Johnny’s first thought isn’t, “God, that jerk, why did he give Skippy cancer?”

Nope. Johnny usually goes straight to the, “Please wonderful God who controls the planet and makes all decisions for all of us, please save Skippy. I promise to go to church more often, never to swear, and I will burn my collection of Big Beautiful Booties. Just please save Skippy”. 

Not only does big G not take any of the blame for something that happens on his all powerful watch, but he acquires groupies begging for his mercy.  I mean, I’ve seen some high quality scams, but this is the crème de la crème.

Because then, even if Skippy takes a turn for the worst and ends up kicking the bucket, you think Johnny Christian would finally stand up and say,

“Listen G, WTF man? I stopped swearing, threw away all my favourite Big Beautiful Booties, and you still took Skipped.  What a jerk move! You can get your $10 a week from someone else!! We are through!”

But even THAT doesn’t happen. 

Instead, it turns into one of, “It just wasn’t in God’s plan”, “He’s in a better place now”, or my personal favourite, “God must have needed Skippy more than we needed him”.

Sure, because an all-knowing, all-powerful creature needs some random human to help him run the universe. That’s like Obama recruiting a parakeet to help him reform healthcare. I’m not buying it.

I just have never understood why it’s always an undisputed fact that God controls everything and decides on everything, but no one ever blames him for the tragedies that take place every day or holds him accountable for his decisions.  All I am looking for (though know I will never find) is a little more consistency in thought.

Imagine all men everywhere had this sort of influence:

Man- “Honey, I just wanted to let you know that I slept with your sister a few nights ago. I hope that’s alright.”

Woman- “WHAT? How dare you sleep with my sister?  I thought you were going to be faithful to me forever. You told me that if I had no other husbands other than you and didn’t covet anything that you would be a good husband to me and we would live a good life?”

Men- “Well, unfortunately, I know that’s what you thought, and you were great, but that just wasn’t the plan I had in mind.  My plan had always included me sleeping with your sister.”

Woman- “Oh, okay. Well, you must’ve needed her for a good reason then, I know how important that plan is”

Men- “Good, I’m glad. And by the way, Grey’s Anatomy has just been cancelled.”

Maybe this is why we never hold anyone accountable for their actions in today’s society. Perhaps this is why we accept substandard behaviour in everything from our educational and financial systems down to our personal relationships. If God is in control of everything, if he’s driving the car, “what the hell could we possibly do?”

Rarely do we ever hold one another accountable for our actions.

Rarely do we ever hold ourselves accountable for our decisions.

Rarely do we ever hold ourselves to a standard any higher than the last mistake we made.

It’s important to fail.

In fact, it should be encouraged, but not without productive, positive intent, and genuine effort.

We seem to be a society without standards, merely a line in the sand without rhyme or reason to its place.   

Too many people on this planet are so used to putting the fate of the world into God’s unaccountable hands, they’ve forgotten how to use their own.

Last night I had myself a date, or more of an outing with a friend from the past.  This is a girl I met over a year ago, and we hadn’t seen one another for a while so we arranged to get together to hang out a bit. Nothing dastardly, go watch a movie, have some drinks, and basically just kill some time together.

Where the plot thickens my friends is that this girl is a serious Christian.  For those of you that know me well, or have been following this blog I know you’re already laughing and looking forward to the rest of this story. God bless you.

Michael Jackson and Pope John Paul

For those in the cheap seats, this is funny because I am a very secular guy. I don’t say there isn’t a God, I basically don’t discuss it. I  just find its a moot point. As for religion, I’m not a fan.  So the fact that this girl and I are friends at all is rather remarkable in its own right, especially since its like she comes to hang out with me just to argue and make snide christ-y comments as if at any moment I’ll break down into tears about how she’s saved me and I’ve seen the light.  I find it kind of funny.  Like when it comes up that I am not drinking for 30 days, she says (all quotes in this article are as accurate as possible yet not verbatim of course), “Is it because you’ve never given up anything for lent so you feel the need to make up for it now?”

This is where I quite correctly respond, “Or maybe I’m just able to make my own decisions instead of taking orders from the church. Besides, I do give up something for lent every year: church.”

Its this back and forth that is quite possibly why I also enjoy hanging out with her. For the sake of this post, and because at one point last night I called her Sister Mary Agnes, let’s call my friend “Mary”.

Mary and I had some time to kill before the movie so we jumped into a restaurant to have a few drinks.  Her with a vodka something and myself with a huge barrel sized mug of soda water and lime.  I guess at restaurants if you don’t drink they want to make it known to everyone around you. Thanks Kelseys.

We start our conversation on the benign and it leads into Michael Jackson, not sure how. It might be because it was on the news, or someone was talking about it, or more possibly, because its all I have spoken about since I heard he died. So as we begin, I mention a few of the songs that I like and how I think Michael Jackson is the last great musical icon I believe we’ll ever see in our lifetime. I continue to stating its too bad in the past ten years he’s been dragged through the mud by the media.

At this point, I’m not even sure I was even speaking to her or just speaking out loud to affirm my love of Michael to the world(this must be my grieving process).  Then its at this point that the conversation takes a turn for the worst.

“I don’t know how anyone could ever possibly idolize a person like Michael Jackson after what he did to those children” and she said a person as if we had just been discussing Ted Bundy or Osama Bin Laden.

At this point I thankfully thought, WWMJD, and decided against pouring my drink on her and I would instead listen to her point on the matter.

Mary’s position was that Michael Jackson erased all of the good will with his music and charity throughout the world because of what he did to those children.  In her mind Michael’s guilt of child molestation was as sure to her as god sitting on a cloud answering everyone’s prayers.  She cited this view because of two factors; Michael had the children sleep in the same bed as him when they stayed over, and because Michael decided to settle the matter out of court.  This was the basis of her entire argument.

My side of the story, is that there was an extensive and inconclusive investigation in which Michael was violated through a strip search and both the ONE boy who claimed molestation/sexual abuse and his father  were questioned.   The child’s father Evan Chandler was at one point quoted as saying, “If I go through with this, I win big-time. There’s no way I lose. I will get everything I want and they will be destroyed forever…Michael’s career will be over”.  Hardly the statement of a concerned parent.

Yet still, all of this is beside the point.   There are many reasons why settling out of court was MJ’s best course of action, but at best there is a 50/50 chance that he was guilty.  And though it was very difficult for me, I did concede that yes, it is possible that Michael was guilty. Personally, I don’t think so, but again, that’s just my opinion.

My final point to Mary was that even if Michael was indeed very guilty of molesting this one child, I still don’t think it comes close to undoing all of the joy, hope, and goodwill he inspired throughout the world.  And all the good he could have done was cut short and pulled down because of one greedy bastard father (who got $200 million by the way), and a blood thirsty media and society more interested in tearing down their idols than getting to the actual truth.

Now at this point, out of nowhere, Mary decided to somehow start comparing Michael Jackson to Jesus.  Seriously. This blew my mind in a “WTF?!?!” sort of way. But once we got back on track, Mary finished off her argument saying that no matter what Michael Jackson had done throughout his career or no matter his own broken life, the fact that he (allegedly) abused this child (“children” to her) he is an evil evil person and she just cannot forgive him.

You really gotta love the black and white opinions of some of these religious people. Never any gray area.  Birth control? Bad. Gays? Evil.  Abortion? Murder! I guess it does make life easier when you don’t have to think critically about anything outside your own argument. I admit, I’m envious.

However, within Mary’s absolute condemning of the evil supposed child molesting Michael Jackson, there was one massive, and equally hilarious flaw in her logic which I was more than happy to point out to her.

I smiled at this realization, and took a nice long sip from my barrel of water before beginning.

I started, “Mary, so you’re saying, that no matter how much good will Michael Jackson has done for the world, just because he, in your eyes, molested these ‘children’, he is evil and it is impossible to look at him as anything but a monster? Its unforgivable?”  I gleefully awaited her obvious response.

“Exactly” she said.

“The only thing that I am now having trouble with, is how you can condemn and shame a man forever who was never proven to be guilty, but you can stand by an organization like the Catholic Church who have, through active choice and deceit, definitely and quite smugly molested and sexually abused young boys for the past century?  Not only is it an absolute hard fact that the priests throughout the Catholic Church have ruined the childhood of THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS of children but they have actively covered it up and protected these vile, disgusting men, effectively allowing them to continue.  Michael Jackson allegedly molested one child. The Catholic Church has definitely ruined the lives of thousands of children, and that’s just Ireland”

Here is an article from May 20th about the awful and disgusting report out of Ireland detailing the atrocities the Catholic Church put their students through. Click  HERE to read about it.

In all honesty, I’m not crystal clear on what Mary said after that.  but she somehow missed my entire point regarding her irony of her unconditional love for the catholic church, and then proceeded to claim that since I thought Michael Jackson was still an amazing icon and worthy of idolizing I was in favour of child abuse.

It was like my entire mention of the connection between the catholic church, child abuse and her idolizing of the Pope and catholicism never happened. It was truly amazing.  Now that my friends, along with the fact that Mary and I, managed to watch a movie and still have a nice evening after that discussing was indeed a miracle.

As for Michael Jackson, may he rest in peace, and may the spirit of his music, his memory, and his message of love, acceptance and understanding, continue to inspire all of us.

Goodbye Michael.

Thank you.