“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.”

I feel this way each time I return from an extended trip abroad.  From each trip I’ve taken, usually to Europe, I find I see the world in a different way. Sometimes the grander sites stand out to me in drastic meaningful ways, and sometimes the simpler aspects of life call out to me in a way I’ve never heard before.

And regardless of my experience while I am away, home always looks different when I return.  I find I understand people differently, I see their lives differently, and I experience those around me in a new way.

For better or for worse, after a lengthy trip like my current one (2.5 months in BaIrcelona [w/ multiple side trips]), things are never the same.  I know now that I am already not the same person as when I left for Barcelona in May.  I feel better. More alive.

I have more goals now that I want to accomplish, places I’d like to visit, and milestones I’d like to reach before I turn 35 that didn’t exist 3 months ago.

This trip has left a definite impact on me.  I LOVE living in Barcelona, and I love Europe.  But I don’t like visiting anymore, I just like being here. Just the simplicity and feeling of being somewhere new and not having to rush through every “experience” like a madman with a tourist map.

For exampe, I used to tell people that 3-5 days was enough to see all there is in Barcelona and now I know how truly false that was. I have one of my best friends currently visiting me for two weeks and at the start of week #2, only now has he covered 90% of what this city has to offer.

I imagine I’ve made these same mistakes with other cities in the past as I always tried to do whirlwind stops of large cities, just wanting to be able to tell people I’ve been there.  All the while I was robbing myself of actually experiencing the city itself.

I imagine european cruises are like this.  People rushing on and off ships like locusts, pouring through the city of the day over several hours, taking photos on the fly and only actually remembering what they saw once they return home and review their digital masterpieces on their PCs.  Because the truth is that sometimes you spend so much time looking at your camera, you never actually look at where you are.

And its not their fault, this is the nature of the north american european vacation.  North Americans typically treat trips to Europe like a trip to the mall, and their whole trip ends up as nothing more than more interesting fodder for their Facebook profiles.  But again, because of how vacations are handed out like rations in north america, and flight/hotel prices are a scandal… these trip designs are out of necessity.

What I’m saying, is that I think the most valuable lesson I’ve come away with on this trip is how incredibly lucky I am to have had this experience.  The chance to live, at will, in Barcelona and travel to places like London, Veneto (italy), San Sebastian, Roses, Calella, for little mini-trips is something I try to remind myself everyday is NOT NORMAL.

I’m looking forward to seeing how the world around me will have changed when I return to Canada, because with all that I’ve seen in Europe, I still love my home country (minus their brutal tax system).

But its only a matter of time until I am on another plane. Europe certainly hasn’t seen the last of me.

I’ve been back in the mothercountry since June 1st and so far, so amazing.

I was expecting nothing more from this trip than a couple of dinners with my family members and maybe a day trip to Venice to show my girlfriend one of the most beautiful cities in the world, but over the last 5 days  I’ve discovered much more.

I think in all of my  European travels over the past 8 years I have found that the place I have been visiting since I was 2 years old is very possibly the paradise I’ve been looking for.  And I’ve only realized that through the eyes of my girlfriend Kate, the English-Canadian who knows maybe 3 words in Italian but has endured an onslaught of Italian conversations and house-to-house visits like a pro.

Castelfranco, Veneto is a decently sized city that inhabits dozens of small towns and a reasonably busy downtown area.  It’s the only place I’ve seen, noted by Kate, where you can live completely in the country but still only live 5 minutes away from a full service mall, grocery store, and enough restaurants and pubs to always have a destination for dates and social gatherings.

On top of this Castelfranco is within a reasonable driving distance of all sorts of places:

• Asiago -the home of the cheese and nestled into a ski-village type of town in the Dolomites (90min drive)
• Verona- the home of Romeo and Juliet (75min drive)
• Venice – the city on water (60min drive)
• Bassano Del Grappa – at the base of Mount Grappa (30min)
• Caorla – the Adriatic  sea resort town famous for their restaurants and family getaway apartments
• Jesolo- the “daytona beach”  party town on the Adriatic for those fun hot summer nights
• Lake Garda (2-3hr drive)

And MANY MANY More…

Castelfranco is also a 3hr train from from Florence and Milan (in opposite directions) and a 4-5hr train ride from Rome.

All of this wrapped into a city that in and of itself is rather perfect to live in.

I’ve spent the last few days traveling to most of the above places in between having some of the best meals while gathering with some of the most important people in my life.

Each trip back to Italy (and Europe in general I suppose) has brought another touch of knowledge and experience into my life that has continued to make me a better and more inspired person.   Spending so much time walking around a continent that is a living window into the past easily puts life’s (see: north american) trivialities into perspective.

I think the more time I spend in Europe the less taste I have for any beach centric (caribbean) vacations in excess of 1-2 weeks. I really just don’t know what I would do with myself there for longer.  I’ve always been an “on the go” type of traveller; new places, new people, new cultures, and new discoveries.

I can’t describe to you how much fun I have had improving my Italian and stoically hacking my way through Spanish while living in Barcelona.

And my all-time best days during my time in Italy has been when we’ve spent a full day of walking through the streets of some historical city, and arrived back home close to midnight with enough energy left to slide in and out of the shower and collapse on the bed in full surrender to a self-induced coma for the next 8 hours.

Staying in Castelfranco has been such an adventure. I FINALLY drove a car in Italy and I couldn’t have loved it anymore.  I rented a Fiat 500 for 5 days and drove to and from Venice, all over Castelfranco visiting relatives, and then 2 hours into the mountain for an amazing day in Asiago. What an adventure.

I really didn’t have anything meaningful nor poetic to say in this post, but all I can say, is that anyone planning an extended trip abroad must seriously think twice about highly considering Europe as their destination.

Italy in particular has enough incredibly fun and meaningful destinations to keep your experience meter running off the charts for years if you’ve got the time. And if you have someone fun and meaningful to share it with…. well, then there’s even more reason to get yourself here.

Its hard to spend an extended period of time in a place like Italy and not have their passion for food, love, and living rub off on you in a most positive way.  I have been to Veneto (a region in Italy) well over a dozen times, and each time I’ve found a new place to visit, new things to learn and a feeling of belonging that is hard to match anywhere else.

Viva Il Veneto!

Except for a few overnight trips around Spain and 8 days in Italy, we decided to spend our time primarily as Barcelona locals. And the experience has been eye-opening regarding the difference between home in Hamilton, Ontario and the life in Spain.

Now of course, the major difference most people need adjusting to for a long trip like this is the lack of family and friends nearby, although with skype, gmail chat, and super great calling rates the only real difference I have noticed is the time zone difference.  Living my life 6 hours ahead of the majority of the people that are important to me makes communicating rather tricky at best (although it may also be because I have made a temporary exodus from Facebook and no longer have IM on my iphone.

But most important, I think what I am starting to realize is that I am just much more comfortable, and consequently happier, living the minimalist lifestyle (which I only realize while I am traveling).   The most relaxed and happy I have ever been in my life is when I have been traveling and living in Europe.

Warmer winters aside, I have always loved the freedom of having an entire continent and the thousands of years of history at my doorstep. I find the thrill of new adventures are ever so close and available and I enjoy the constant emails from family members about “being on yet another trip. Are you even going to settle down?” lol.

My simple answer…. probably not.

For some the term might be a description of a calmer, gentler, less scary, kinder life. The point in time in when you become an adult. Life is stable, and you can take solace in the fact that you know where your future is headed.

Personally I think that’s a bit delusional so my personal definition is slightly different, and in fact, the term itself makes me a little nauseous and uncomfortable, like when someone farts near you in a small room after they’ve had mexican food. yeh, kinda like that.

Remember as a kid when you were having an incredibly fun time with your friends, laughing and making up absurb ways to make one another laugh?

Then just when you were about to start creating the rules for a new game you could play with a 3-legged dog and a box of apple jacks  comes the sound of pseudo authority reigning down their opinions and judgement with the famed buzzkilling request of,  “settle down” guys.

I don’t see much of a difference in this example and the suggestions most of my well-intentioned friends and family mean.

I have never been the “get married, buy the biggest house I can afford, start a family, and start buying/collecting things forever” type of person. And as for landscaping and home-repair… well, let’s just say those skills and desires were not passed down through genetics.

To watch me try to hand a painting on a wall is akin to watching a blind man paint a portrait.  Sure it might get done in the end, but it’s not gonna be pretty during of after. So instead of deciding that my life has to be a certain way that sounds awful to me, somewhere along the way I decided to start being honest with myself in terms of what is really going to make me feel fulfilled in this one shot at life.

Most people from the time they are in their early teens, dream of owning their own home. They scrimp, and save and work 2, 3, 4 jobs and do whatever they have to do to make that dream come true, and I applaud that goal. Its lofty and its attainable.

But for me, for whatever reason, I never really cared to own a house.  Didn’t seem “interesting” enough to me. And everyone I know that owns a home, after a couple months of moving in, doesn’t really have anything overly positive to say about it. Unless of course they are buying new things for their home, or changing the way it looks, then of course they’ve got more than enough to say.

Its not a big secret that humans thrive on novelty.  New things excite us, they make us yearn for more and feed the reward center of our brains with the satisfaction of gathering new information and experience. And in my eyes, owning a home always got in the way with chasing experiences I wanted.   It was never the novelty I was chasing.

I’m not against marriage, nor having a family, but my idea of settling down has evolved to a significantly different place than most of the people I know.

For example, I’ve recently (the last couple years) met and become friends with people who travel quite regularly, home school their children, and live a life of experience and learning.  It has really been eye-opening for me, and has blown the doors off of all my misconceptios about home schooling.  ( Yet another case of me finding out something I have been so clearly ignorant about).   With all of this new knowledge of “non-settlers” not only did it make the case for “settling down” even more off-putting, but its given me new vision of what marriage and family can mean.
Its like there is this completely other dimension and I have found a new species of human being and not to mention this paradigm shift would allow me to keep connected with the one true love of my life…. traveling and learning.

Every since I returned from my first backpacking trip through Europe I don’t think I ever honestly let go of that feeling.  The euphoric rush of arriving by plane or train into a new city, or each day learning something new. Or even better, meeting someone new.

I still remember my long flight home from Athens to Toronto (via London) after my 6-7 week trip through Europe in 2003.

I sat in my upgraded British Airways seat, the humble realization and satisfaction of all that I had seen and experienced flooding over me like a series recap of my favourite TV show.  I was, at that time, completely content with my life and what I had achieved by facing my fears and leaving behind the city, country, and continent I had become so accustomed to.

Looking back at that flight home in October of 2003 up until this moment, I think I now realize how much that trip changed my life, and opened my eyes to just how much of life I was missing while staying comfortably nestled in my cocoon inside Canada.    It was this feeling that has propelled my travels and my current lifestyle.

And though I know not what the future holds for my mobile lifestyle, my online business, or… anything else for that matter; should it all crash and burn tomorrow, it would have been all worth it (especially with this incredible 20 days I’ve already had on this trip).

Regardless of what it may be that makes me happy, everyone is starkly different in their needs.  Each of us individually are the only keepers of to the answers of our own happiness. But I think as long as any of us just keep pushing ourselves towards personal accomplishment and satisfaction, and our type of enjoyment isn’t negatively affecting anyone else, well…

Never *settle.

*”settle” being your own personal definition.

I find I will set my projects and goals about 3 months and 1 year out in length (short and long-term) and then start taking as much action as I can to get there, but sometimes within this process, priorities change.  Either because my life changes, or my perspectives shift or both, and sometimes this will leave me in limbo for a little while, unsure of what I am doing and why.

Thankfully, its around this time that I always find an article on reassessment, or what I like to call, course correction.

Do you know where you're going?

When I originally decided I wanted to run a successful online business I had clear motivation.

I had run around for the majority of my 20s experiencing life in different forms;  jobs, companies, countries, living situations, and so forth. And through these various viewing windows I realized some important things about myself;

I value working with people opposed to for people.  And no matter what sort of job I would take, no 9-5 position gave me enough autonomy to fool myself into thinking I was working on my terms.  Accurate or not, I always thought I saw a better, more efficient way to do things, and wanted to find out for myself.  Working within a hierarchy makes these desires typically impossible.

I hated waking up at 6am.  It made me hate life. Its an ungodly hour and should only be seen as your eyes close, not as they open.  Some people can do it happily… I cannot.

I like the idea of  being able to work in my underwear.

I liked the idea of being able to continue to earn an income while sleeping or on vacation.

I wanted the ability to travel indefinitely, and to move back to Barcelona (and live in Europe) without the restraints of a desk job to
dampen the experience.

I am happy to say that so far I am one step away from realizing all of those goals, but somehow recently, I have found myself in a fog of uncertainty wondering if I have achieved so much in the past 3 years why am I not on satisfaction autopilot, and then yesterday I figured it out.

I. Want. More.

I know that might sound greedy, or pompous, or whatever, but I assure its not.

My recent confusion forced me to come to terms with the fact that I am not personally satisfied unless I am working towards something, and pushing my own boundaries of comfort and competence.

I just want more.  More experiences, more unique perspectives, more stories to inspire me, and more stamps on my passport… More.

“More” has nothing to do with money in the bank. Although with that being said, 3 years ago I had to come to terms with the fact that I couldn’t continue to live the life I had been living indefinitely, I’m not a trustfund baby.  The truth was, the dreams and the future I wanted, unfortunately came with a price tag that I had to either account for, or let my dreams die.

Recently I have become more and more aware of my intolerance for apathy in society and yet ironically I was becoming apathetic in my own life. I remember reading a quote that said the things you dislike in other people are what you truly dislike most about yourself (see: people that hate gays and lesbians).

Wow, does that quote seem accurate today. I must admit, thought the truth hurts, realizing I was being a total hypocrit also set me free.

Today, I promised myself to start correcting course and setting new limits to shatter.

One thought I had last night, was how my new home might be a barrier I need to overcome in 2012. If Iwant to travel for at least six months in 2012, and I cannot find someone to rent and manage my home, I have to accept the fact that I will need to sell it.

This was difficult to accept, but I had to realize what was more important, the experience and challenge of 6 months of living and working abroad, or falling victim to shackles of home ownership.  I had to realize that my home is not a person, and commitment and loyalty to a decision to own a house isn’t something I have to stick to.

Now that I am operating on the principle that “I. Want. More.” its clear to me what is more important.  And unfortunately, what I continue to learn time and time again, is that the more important decision is usually the more complicated one.

Another part of correcting course, is to try and hand out less advice. I am notoriously bad for this, and all it does is lead to less time focused on my goals, and more time spent frustrated.   I tend to believe I can see the source of unhappiness in my closest friends and family, and I feel I can help them make better decisions before the arrive at a future they dispise.

Sure, I know that I come from a good place with this, and I only want to see my closest friends happy and fulfilled in a life they love…. but let’s be serious here, nobody wants any advice. And even if they ask for it, lucky if 5% actually follow through making those tough decisions.  Hell, life is almost impossibly difficult to navigate, so the fact that I think words from my mouth can inspire true change is naive at best, and narcissistic at worst.   I have to realize that my mantra isn’t theirs, and that I can still help improve the lives around me, it just doesn’t have to be in an instructional, Tony Robbins, sort of way. haha

Now that my goals list is evolving, I had better stop blogging and get back to it.

If anyone actually reads this drivel of mine, it would be cool if you thought about one thing you need to correct course on and
left it in the comments area below.  That way if you write it down and its out there for the world to see, who knows, maybe that will be enough to make that change you were looking for.

Have a great day!