I don’t know why, but every few months I read an article about motivation, drive, and ensuring that you are still on the right path. And the part of the article that always jolts me back into consciousness is the part about reassessment.
I find I will set my projects and goals about 3 months and 1 year out in length (short and long-term) and then start taking as much action as I can to get there, but sometimes within this process, priorities change. Either because my life changes, or my perspectives shift or both, and sometimes this will leave me in limbo for a little while, unsure of what I am doing and why.
Thankfully, its around this time that I always find an article on reassessment, or what I like to call, course correction.
When I originally decided I wanted to run a successful online business I had clear motivation.
I had run around for the majority of my 20s experiencing life in different forms; jobs, companies, countries, living situations, and so forth. And through these various viewing windows I realized some important things about myself;
I value working with people opposed to for people. And no matter what sort of job I would take, no 9-5 position gave me enough autonomy to fool myself into thinking I was working on my terms. Accurate or not, I always thought I saw a better, more efficient way to do things, and wanted to find out for myself. Working within a hierarchy makes these desires typically impossible.
I hated waking up at 6am. It made me hate life. Its an ungodly hour and should only be seen as your eyes close, not as they open. Some people can do it happily… I cannot.
I like the idea of being able to work in my underwear.
I liked the idea of being able to continue to earn an income while sleeping or on vacation.
I wanted the ability to travel indefinitely, and to move back to Barcelona (and live in Europe) without the restraints of a desk job to
dampen the experience.
I am happy to say that so far I am one step away from realizing all of those goals, but somehow recently, I have found myself in a fog of uncertainty wondering if I have achieved so much in the past 3 years why am I not on satisfaction autopilot, and then yesterday I figured it out.
I. Want. More.
I know that might sound greedy, or pompous, or whatever, but I assure its not.
My recent confusion forced me to come to terms with the fact that I am not personally satisfied unless I am working towards something, and pushing my own boundaries of comfort and competence.
I just want more. More experiences, more unique perspectives, more stories to inspire me, and more stamps on my passport… More.
“More” has nothing to do with money in the bank. Although with that being said, 3 years ago I had to come to terms with the fact that I couldn’t continue to live the life I had been living indefinitely, I’m not a trustfund baby. The truth was, the dreams and the future I wanted, unfortunately came with a price tag that I had to either account for, or let my dreams die.
Recently I have become more and more aware of my intolerance for apathy in society and yet ironically I was becoming apathetic in my own life. I remember reading a quote that said the things you dislike in other people are what you truly dislike most about yourself (see: people that hate gays and lesbians).
Wow, does that quote seem accurate today. I must admit, thought the truth hurts, realizing I was being a total hypocrit also set me free.
Today, I promised myself to start correcting course and setting new limits to shatter.
One thought I had last night, was how my new home might be a barrier I need to overcome in 2012. If Iwant to travel for at least six months in 2012, and I cannot find someone to rent and manage my home, I have to accept the fact that I will need to sell it.
This was difficult to accept, but I had to realize what was more important, the experience and challenge of 6 months of living and working abroad, or falling victim to shackles of home ownership. I had to realize that my home is not a person, and commitment and loyalty to a decision to own a house isn’t something I have to stick to.
Now that I am operating on the principle that “I. Want. More.” its clear to me what is more important. And unfortunately, what I continue to learn time and time again, is that the more important decision is usually the more complicated one.
Another part of correcting course, is to try and hand out less advice. I am notoriously bad for this, and all it does is lead to less time focused on my goals, and more time spent frustrated. I tend to believe I can see the source of unhappiness in my closest friends and family, and I feel I can help them make better decisions before the arrive at a future they dispise.
Sure, I know that I come from a good place with this, and I only want to see my closest friends happy and fulfilled in a life they love…. but let’s be serious here, nobody wants any advice. And even if they ask for it, lucky if 5% actually follow through making those tough decisions. Hell, life is almost impossibly difficult to navigate, so the fact that I think words from my mouth can inspire true change is naive at best, and narcissistic at worst. I have to realize that my mantra isn’t theirs, and that I can still help improve the lives around me, it just doesn’t have to be in an instructional, Tony Robbins, sort of way. haha
Now that my goals list is evolving, I had better stop blogging and get back to it.
If anyone actually reads this drivel of mine, it would be cool if you thought about one thing you need to correct course on and
left it in the comments area below. That way if you write it down and its out there for the world to see, who knows, maybe that will be enough to make that change you were looking for.
Have a great day!