Halloween in Barcelona, who would’ve thought?
As an email crossed my inbox 2 days before the big bad 31st I learned that our company Halloween party was “costume mandatory”. Crisis immediately struck as I realized I had left my Superman tights in Canada and would be forced to search the city of Barcelona for appropriate attire. My first idea was to go as a Sugar Daddy. I would dress as a pimp but tape and staple candy and chocolate all over my body. I found the idea hilarious and perfect, until i started asking a few people if they had any idea what a Sugar Daddy is and the idea died there. Pity.
I set off after work one evening with Dennys, our token American, in hopes of glory. Our first stop was a proper costume store with everything from a sailor’s outfit to Freddy Kruger and Roman Warriors. The only catch was that to rent these costumes would have cost us a minimum of 50 euros. In case I didn’t mention it, sure we were searching for glory, but glory had to come with a price tag of 30 euros at most. We gave up with sadness that day but were back at it on the 30th with a renewed sense of determination. In other words, the girls in the office were all set to wear costumes and had pressured us to “man-up”and come in costume. What men do for women never ceases to amaze. Luckily I had come up with the world’s greatest idea for costumes for each of us and a price we would be happy with.
Since Dennys speaks fluent spanish I figured our mission would be easily executed. We walked to Plaza Catalunya and found the nearest Burger King and McDonald’s; side by side of course. We walked into what seemed like Burger King’s busiest day of the year, but with some slick maneuvering we managed to find the woman in charge. So Dennys, with me feeding the english version into his ear since he was too nervous to act on his own, proceeded to ask the nice woman if she would sell us two Burger King hat and shirt uniforms. Well…from her reaction you would’ve guessed he just asked her if she’d like to have a threesome on a pile of Whoppers. She wasn’t pleased and stormed off in disgust. I was VERY upset by this as in my mind I was already preparing to be king.. Plan B. Mickey Ds.
The manager from McDonald’s was much easier to find, but because of our last experience Dennys was borderline petrified to speak to this woman. Thankfully he finally managed to propose our idea and even upped our buying price from 20 to 25 euros (desperate times). This woman said no, but when she said it I thought from the look on her face she was trying to solve a calculus problem. Utter confusion. After we explained she burst into laughter and I saw a glimmer of hope that she may have mercy on us costume-less beggars, but it wasn’t to be. Blast! Foiled again!
This was getting tight. We were on our lunch break on Oct 30th and we had one stop left before giving up.
We walked into the last store and quickly found 2 things, many options that we could easily pull off, and the prices were just above our threshold, most costumes were 40 euros to buy. Again, the things we do for women. I eventually decided to be a Sailor based on a number of important factors.
#1 I’d be able to wear my jeans and runners underneath the costume.
#2 It was incredibly easy to put on and required ZERO makeup
#3 Apparently women love sailors.
#4 I kinda liked the hat.
Surprisingly these factors outweighed the fact that I knew I would be referred to as either a gay sailor or part of the Village people at some point throughout the night. On Halloween night some smart ass even tried to be the life of the party at the bar; he came up behind me with his girlfriend and started to sing Y-M-C-A, but wasn’t he surprised when I jump-turned around during the chorus and started spelling out the letters. He became even more annoyed when Reason #3 showed up and his girlfriend kept singing along with me through the next verse and even put my hat on her head. Sailor- 1 Funny guy- 0
Back during the decision making process Dennys was stumped. He had to choose between being a priest, pirate, rock star, vampire etc etc but nothing pleased him. Then I found it, the world’s greatest costume that I would NEVER wear myself. “The Party Animal- The Pig”. The costume was a big pajama like onesie with a pig hat complete with snout that strapped on like a big plush helmet. It was beautiful.
It doesn’t matter that it took me 45minutes to convince Dennys how incredibly funny this costume was, he bought it and I was pumped.
On Halloween night as we walked through the streets, metro stations, bars and clubs in our costumes I derived pure joy from watching people stare in bewilderment as they wondered why a grown man would voluntarily dress himself as a pig. I can just picture someone waking up hungover the next day and turning to his buddy to say, “Man, I must’ve been REALLY REALLY hammered last night, all I remember is seeing this giant pig dancing around on the floor.” And believe me, you’ll never known joy until you’ve watched your friend come out of a bathroom 5-10 times through the course of a night and ask random strangers “can you zip me up?” Brilliant.
I must say, this was one of the most memorable and fun Halloweens I’ve had in years. And I owe it all to a giant pig.
Below are some pictures of all of us from the night, and then an extra of my friend Dexter at work. Priceless costume.