Comments on: Hey Harry…Sally HATES you. http://www.perfectlyturbulent.com/hey-harrysally-hates-you/ Because its better to be riding the waves than fighting them Fri, 10 Sep 2010 00:23:48 -0700 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Pamela http://www.perfectlyturbulent.com/hey-harrysally-hates-you/comment-page-1/#comment-1426 Pamela Fri, 13 Feb 2009 05:39:04 +0000 http://www.perfectlyturbulent.com/?p=418#comment-1426 I had lunch today with a very close guy friend of mine (yes, being in line with this post, we are not strictly platonic ... and I have no intention of making it so). This topic came up and it got me thinking about this post. It's reasonable for Estero to admit that she has finally come out from behind her veil of illusion after loving and losing many close male companions - the argument can only be reinforced so many times before you concede. But, as I realized today, I remain held steadfast to one exceptional man in my life (Scott) who seems to defy this foregone conclusion about men and women. And, rightfully so, I was bombarded today with questions intended to blast holes in my non-sexual relationship with Scott. Now, I was not only shocked that my lunch date actually aknowledged that I may be a player in said exception (if you knew him, you would understand my shock at his agreement), but I was also plagued all afternoon by new thoughts on the subject. What if Scott has felt something more for me (like Estero said, maybe he tells our story differently), but has simply chosen to ignore it/swallow it/be naive to it in order to keep our very precious friendship alive and well? There is no doubt that we fill an intimate void in each other's lives - we met in very difficult emotional times, which bonded us to begin with - but, why can't that be sustainable? Especially if someone makes the conscious decision to overcome any sexual desires in order to maintain the friendship. If these thoughts have crossed Scott's mind and we are still as close as ever without even a glimpse of sexual tension between us, are we still an exception or just making choices? Does it even matter as long as we're both happy in our friendship? And the even more charged question is, if I find someone who fills more of those intimate voids (physically, emotionally, intellectually - everything I'm looking for in a partner), will that part of my friendship with Scott be lost? How will the cards fall for us then? All heavy questions I have no answers for. My lunch date would have loved to have been involved in this self-banter. I had lunch today with a very close guy friend of mine (yes, being in line with this post, we are not strictly platonic … and I have no intention of making it so). This topic came up and it got me thinking about this post. It’s reasonable for Estero to admit that she has finally come out from behind her veil of illusion after loving and losing many close male companions – the argument can only be reinforced so many times before you concede. But, as I realized today, I remain held steadfast to one exceptional man in my life (Scott) who seems to defy this foregone conclusion about men and women. And, rightfully so, I was bombarded today with questions intended to blast holes in my non-sexual relationship with Scott. Now, I was not only shocked that my lunch date actually aknowledged that I may be a player in said exception (if you knew him, you would understand my shock at his agreement), but I was also plagued all afternoon by new thoughts on the subject.

What if Scott has felt something more for me (like Estero said, maybe he tells our story differently), but has simply chosen to ignore it/swallow it/be naive to it in order to keep our very precious friendship alive and well? There is no doubt that we fill an intimate void in each other’s lives – we met in very difficult emotional times, which bonded us to begin with – but, why can’t that be sustainable? Especially if someone makes the conscious decision to overcome any sexual desires in order to maintain the friendship. If these thoughts have crossed Scott’s mind and we are still as close as ever without even a glimpse of sexual tension between us, are we still an exception or just making choices? Does it even matter as long as we’re both happy in our friendship? And the even more charged question is, if I find someone who fills more of those intimate voids (physically, emotionally, intellectually – everything I’m looking for in a partner), will that part of my friendship with Scott be lost? How will the cards fall for us then? All heavy questions I have no answers for.

My lunch date would have loved to have been involved in this self-banter.

]]> By: Marios http://www.perfectlyturbulent.com/hey-harrysally-hates-you/comment-page-1/#comment-1420 Marios Fri, 16 Jan 2009 20:34:15 +0000 http://www.perfectlyturbulent.com/?p=418#comment-1420 I would also like to say great article. There is an issue that you didn't bring up that is very important. Not everyone is the same, I know of many guys that say "women and men can't be friend". For them they will never have a platonic female friend, and yes there are women that think the same way. I think it is possible to have a platonic friend, but circumstances must dictate on how did two people become platonic. This is the case for all humans. Why are two guys platonic friends? because they have no sexual interest in each other, and they like each other company. If they did have sexual interests in each other, then they are homosexual. Again, this applies to women as well. Another Example is siblings, a boy and girl sibling, they can be great friend their brother and sister! they have a platonic relationship but its not always the case (incest). I have a best girls friend , she use to date my cousin, nothing will ever happened between us, she's like my older sister. the reason that noting is going to happen is because of our circumstances. We as humans are sexual beings if there isn't a reason not to have a sexual relationship, then why not? I would also like to say great article. There is an issue that you didn’t bring up that is very important. Not everyone is the same, I know of many guys that say “women and men can’t be friend”. For them they will never have a platonic female friend, and yes there are women that think the same way. I think it is possible to have a platonic friend, but circumstances must dictate on how did two people become platonic. This is the case for all humans. Why are two guys platonic friends? because they have no sexual interest in each other, and they like each other company. If they did have sexual interests in each other, then they are homosexual. Again, this applies to women as well. Another Example is siblings, a boy and girl sibling, they can be great friend their brother and sister! they have a platonic relationship but its not always the case (incest). I have a best girls friend , she use to date my cousin, nothing will ever happened between us, she’s like my older sister. the reason that noting is going to happen is because of our circumstances. We as humans are sexual beings if there isn’t a reason not to have a sexual relationship, then why not?

]]> By: Michael http://www.perfectlyturbulent.com/hey-harrysally-hates-you/comment-page-1/#comment-1419 Michael Fri, 16 Jan 2009 20:17:59 +0000 http://www.perfectlyturbulent.com/?p=418#comment-1419 @Ranyz The original movie, When Harry Met Sally is a very watered down and superficial look into this subject. I don’t think this situation has anything to do with men being dogs, especially in most of Estero’s examples. Estero is the one avoiding exclusivity at almost all costs, and these guys just want to be with her, they care about her, its not just about sex, its about emotion. As for Estero’s other situations, with Miguel from DC for instance, at least he’s being honest and upfront with her. This situation goes both ways, its not about one sex being fairer than the other. There are plenty of women out there that are equally “dog-ish” @Ranyz

The original movie, When Harry Met Sally is a very watered down and superficial look into this subject.
I don’t think this situation has anything to do with men being dogs, especially in most of Estero’s examples. Estero is the one avoiding exclusivity at almost all costs, and these guys just want to be with her, they care about her, its not just about sex, its about emotion.

As for Estero’s other situations, with Miguel from DC for instance, at least he’s being honest and upfront with her. This situation goes both ways, its not about one sex being fairer than the other. There are plenty of women out there that are equally “dog-ish”

]]> By: Ranzy http://www.perfectlyturbulent.com/hey-harrysally-hates-you/comment-page-1/#comment-1418 Ranzy Fri, 16 Jan 2009 19:59:22 +0000 http://www.perfectlyturbulent.com/?p=418#comment-1418 -BEWARE Estero- guys will always be dogs no matter what. -BEWARE Estero- guys will always be dogs no matter what.

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