And by child, I mean a 28yr old man.
I’ve heard that its important to learn something new each and every day. Today I learned that to me, the grocery store here in Barcelona may as well be the world’s greatest labyrinth because boy oh boy did I feel fuckin’ lost in there.
I’ve lived on my own throughout 4 years of university and another 2 years in Toronto, but this evening I felt like it was the first time in 28 years I had left the nest.
I was prepared though. I went armed with a small list of items I wanted to buy and a Spanish-English dictionary to translate anything I didn’t understand. I was confident before I walked through those automatic doors, but after 10min of aimlessly walking around I realized I had been down the same aisle at least 5 times and I still didn’t have anything in my little cart. At this point, I’m sure the people around me must have thought I was a crazy because I had a little laugh to myself and said, “I’m gonna starve”.
After my brief laughter, I broken into tears and sat huddled in the corner shaking for 36minutes. When my vision returned as the terror passed, I put on my game face. I started loading up my cart with any familiar items that I knew I could work with; chicken, tuna, frozen fish, spinach salad, tomatoes, pasta, pesto, tomatoes, apples, some cereal and what I believe is either milk or liquid goat cheese(hope for the best).
In my Indy500 laps around the store, I was reminded of another fact that’s been in my face since I moved to Spain:
The Spanish people have a sick, sick love affair with pork. Anywhere you go, bacon sandwiches, ham sandwiches, pork loin, prosciutto, ham on salads, ham with chicken. I’m almost waiting to look in the frozen food section to see pork on a stick popsicles, and I’m guessing they could have someone named Popsicle Pig as their mascot. Hmmm…that’d be sweet.
I’m also guessing that this Spanish Pork-a-Palooza is why I see next to no indian or middle eastern people in Barcelona, or at least I haven’t noticed any. I think all of Spain may be racist against Muslims and purposely keep the pork supply high to deter devout Muslims from living in the country. I may have just uncovered the world’s oddest yet most effective conspiracy theory/hate crime.
So as I sit here typing this enjoying my first prepared meal of chicken breast, spinach salad and yogurt I realize that I just might not starve after all.
Although it did take me 10min to figure out how to use my cool new stove.
Ok, ok, 15min.
Well said.