Relax, they can’t kill you…

This post was inspired by the terrible situation in Japan, as so many people went from happy enjoyable lives, then immediately into a world of death, devastation, fear, and desperation…

Have you ever been in a room with a few people, maybe even at a party, and the whole group has been rambling on about some inane topic and all you can think about, are all the other ways you could be spending your time?

Maybe it’s just my perspective, but aside from paying my mortgage and the health of me and my loved ones, there’s not much else that I really find that important.  Sure, I have my audacious and ambitious goals for the future, and plans for success, but when it all comes down to it, as long as the people I love are safe (from diseases, heart attacks, nuclear and/or natural disasters), and I’ve got enough money for next month’s payment…. I can’t really find the energy to give a shit about some of the other topics people seem to devote so much of their lives to.

I think I kind of know when I started down this path.

In 2000, long story short, I thought I had a fatal illness.  Thankfully, after one last minute canceled surgery and another completed surgery I found out that I didn’t. But I believe it was during that time that I realized how truly precious life is. That no matter how difficult things can get from day to day, as long as you’re still breathing and moving along… everything is going to be okay.

I know it’s not easy.

If a bus runs through a puddle and soaks you from head to toe, that reeaaally sucks.

Maybe the love of your life loving is now someone else’s life, double sucks.

But tomorrow is another day…

I remember in 2005, when I was living in London, England and was having a really tough time hitting my sales quota
in my new environment. I don’t know if it was the new team, the product I was selling, or maybe I just hated the job so much I wasn’t willing to put in the effort; regardless, it was tough.

Everyday I used to walk out of the office at the end of my shift around 8pm, stressed to the max.  Almost every night I used to go for dinner with a good friend of mine who worked in the production side of the business. Every night this poor guy would hear my daily rants, and offer an ear.  But one day he decided to lend some words as well, and I will never forget this exchange:

HIM– “So let’s say you don’t hit your numbers this month, and let’s say you don’t hit your numbers for the next
3 months… what’s the worst that can happen?”

ME–   “Are you drunk? I’ll get fired”

HIM– “So..?”

ME– What do you mean so? I. Will. Be Fired.”

HIM– “So you find another job? Its just money.  Its not like they’re going to kill you.”

Of course, this got a good laugh out of both of us, and quickly defused my anxiety.

We discussed the topic a little more, as I had a really tough time wrapping my head around his, “It’s just money” comment, but in the end, he was right.

The rest of the night was spent in a totally stress-free state of mind as my friend and I decided at 26 years old, to find ourselves a couple Bounty Ice Cream bars, an arcade, and just have some fun. It was a great night.  One that we gladly repeated various times throughout our working together.

The next day, I went back to work.   And surprise surprise, I never did get fired.  However, six months later, at the height of my earning potential, I was so unhappy there, I quit.   Remember… it’s just money. ;)

I think its too easy for a lot of us in western society, especially of us that are in the middle, or upper middle-class, to lose our perspective and sight of what’s really important.

Lets take me for example: With my new business, I have done pretty well for myself in the past year.  In 2010 I am proud to say I achieved an income above six-figures and an independent lifestyle, which was my short-term goal.

So that probably, give or take, puts me in the richest top 2% of the entire world.  If you’re reading this, you are probably in that 2% as well, if not the top 5%… OF THE WORLD!

There are billions of people on our planet that each and every day, wake up, and they don’t know if they’re going to make it to the end of the day.

Some don’t know where their next meal is coming from, how they’re going to feed their children, or if, in their entire lifetimes they will be able to know what it feels like to live in a country without war and oppression.

My biggest problem today was that my wonderful girlfriend and I couldn’t figure out how to schedule our evening.  Dinner? Movie? Dinner and a Movie? Go to a show? No, maybe a club? Maybe some sexy time later?

So to face this brutal challenge, I made myself a sandwich, read a book, took a nap, and when I woke up it was sorted out.   Geez, what a nightmare that was.

Sure, that’s a light problem day, but even on my worst days, things are still relatively, pretty awesome.

I know it sounds hilarious, and that’s simply because the dichotomy of our world is so completely absurd that our initial reaction is to laugh… but let’s be serious, it’s pretty fucked up.

We have billions of human beings that cannot afford a $1 hamburger and don’t have access to clean water. And yet, instead of finding ways to help our own species survive, there are people out there who spend the better part of their days lobbying governments against the right for two people of the same gender that love each other from getting married.  I mean, where are our sensibilites?  And that’s just one example of a group of people that are waaaay too numerous for us to consider our society ‘civilized’.

Also, maybe we could dial down the importance of ESPN SportsCenter’s highlights and start understanding that professional athletes are, in reality, much less important than your local garbage man.    What was that? Did I see the amazing game last night? No, I didn’t, sorry, maybe I’ll catch one of the next 3000 that are on TV this month.

We get so overcome with the benality of life that we give the most unimportant decisions, events, and issues too much gravity in our lives.

Does it really matter if your fancy watch is real or fake? (does it make the time move any slower?)

Whats the matter? I can’t get my TV in a 48″ plasma, I have to take the 42″ instead? What a tragedy.

Now don’t get me wrong, I still get bent out of shape for the stupidest of things too, but I do try REALLY hard to not get sucked into the idiocy that surrounds us all.

These big issues are difficult for any of us to focus on, but maybe if we all just had a little more perspective, or perhaps a touch better grasp on things in our lives that really do matter, we could stop spending our time with all this other bullshit.

Because the reality is, for most of us, we need to relax.  They can’t kill us…

Categories: Philosophical Arguments, Rants, Religion and the battle for Common Sense | Leave a comment

My Favourite Childhood Story

I think we all have a story from our childhood that we don’t hear very often, yet when we do we remember all over again how much the memory means to us.

My parents always tell people that, my whole life, if I get something stuck in my head that I want to do, its hard for me to let go of that goal until it’s achieved or failed.  Otherwise, it’s always in play.  And to illustrate that point my mothers proceeds to tell this short story…

I must have been 4 or 5, because I only very vaguely remember this occuring.  My parents and I got into my father’s light brown Pontiac LeMans and they told me we were going to the department store to buy some shoes for me.

Department store. Buy Shoes. Got it.

So the whole family drove to Sears, the Eaton’s Centre or whatever was around in the early 80s and began our quest, when a few minutes into entering the multi-level department store…. Little Mikey had disappeared.   It’s clearly at this point of tale where I verbally berate my mother for letting their precious angel out of their site.  I think now, knowing this is coming, she’s started to change her story a little… so I try to let her editorialize unless she really veers off track.

For what my mother claims was nearly half an hour (see 5 minutes probably), my parents frantically searched through every department, every floor, and every bathroom in this department store trying to find me.   They first checked the toy section, then electronics, men’s clothes, women’s clothes, and then anywhere they could… no Mikey.

And then when they had both given up hope, a clerk tells my mother they’ve found her son.

While my parents were thinking the worst and kicking themselves for not being more attentive, their little son, had never been lost at all.   Apparently, I had managed to find my way into the shoe section of the department store and had even solicited the help of a salesman to help me start trying on shoes… attempting to complete the task I was told we were there for.

It’s at this point in the story that I like to tell people, “See, only 5 years old, and already I’m just trying to get shit done.”

We are who we are I guess.

Categories: Just Good Stories... | Leave a comment

Are you the stepping stone to her dreams?

One of the best things that I’ve learnt over the past two years is that its okay to walk out of a movie theater if you think the film sucks. And Hall Pass, with Owen Wilson is the epitome of “sucks”.  Although for the 30 minutes I watched of the film there was one amazing piece of dialogue that actually had me thinking long after I had left the theater.

Wilson’s character was trying to convince his friend to be a good husband and forget about their week off from marriage and just grovel to their wives for forgiveness.  But the retort from the friend, played by Jason Sudekis (famous for SNL and dating January Jones), was interesting.

Sudekis asked Wilson if he was living his dream or not (which clearly he wasn’t, he was an emasculated suburban dad). Then he went to explain how his unhappiness and mediocrity in life was in direct correlation to his wife getting to live her dreams.

He went on to say that women, as little girls, most generally dream about their wedding day and having a husband, a nice house and a baby.  Sure, there are women with some grander ambitions, but at the core (from an evolutionary and Cosmo perspective) women are programmed to dream of this life.    And Wilson’s character, by buying her their house, getting her pregnant (twice), and making her a wife and a mother he directly made her dreams come true.  Whereas his getting married, pretty much shut down any dream that he ever had as a little boy.

No man I’ve ever met dreams of paying a mortgage, supporting a family on his income, and only having sex with one woman for the rest of his life.    I’m not saying there is anything wrong with this lifestyle, I’m just saying no male dreams of this scenario as an succesful end goal…. ever.  It just seems to be where the majority end up.

Now, I try not to make it a habit or getting my philosophical ponderings from terrible films, but I must say, this part definitely wasn’t as stupid as the rest of the dialogue

NOTE: This entire post is more of an open hypothetical question than an actual opinion but I do think its an interesting perspective.

How many men dream of big things in the teenage years?

They dream of being the superstar athlete, the successful executive, a famous actor, or maybe jet setting entrepreneur.  And in th end the idea is that one spouse is living within their goal and the other isn’t.  The women have aspired to something (being a loving wife and mother) and achieved it and can hang their hat on that, whereas the other spouse has arrived at a reality that was more of a compromise and a  Plan B (or maybe C or D).

To be clear, contrary to my girlfriend’s opinion, I don’t have a problem with marriage, directly anyways.  I think making a lifelong commitment to someone is a very good thing, and raising children that actually contribute positively to society is a task most people don’t even take the time to appreciate until their kid turns 13… but I just wonder how many guys out there wake up at age 40 or 50 and realize that their dreams were sacrificed so that their wives could live theirs.

Or even, how many people, men and women, are living out relationships that they truly know aren’t right for them because they feel it’s easier to stick with the current person than venturing back into the unknown in the chance of finding someone that’s truly your perfect match?

The Male/Female relationship dynamic is definitely one of the more interesting things to talk about because its so multi-faceted, and I really don’t have an answer.  But the truth is, you’re the only one that can answer all of those questions.

Is your life a compromise for fear of achieving bigger things or is it the path you really want?  And of course usually, unless you’re really in the shit, you’ll tell those closest to you how amazing your life is, but when you and I go to sleep at night, or get up in the morning…. only the person in mirror really knows if we’re exactly where we want to be.

Not a bad thought experiment for a shitty movie though. ;)

Categories: Open Discussions, Philosophical Arguments | Leave a comment