My Favourite Childhood Story

Posted on March 9, 2011 by Michael

I think we all have a story from our childhood that we don’t hear very often, yet when we do we remember all over again how much the memory means to us.

My parents always tell people that, my whole life, if I get something stuck in my head that I want to do, its hard for me to let go of that goal until it’s achieved or failed.  Otherwise, it’s always in play.  And to illustrate that point my mothers proceeds to tell this short story…

I must have been 4 or 5, because I only very vaguely remember this occuring.  My parents and I got into my father’s light brown Pontiac LeMans and they told me we were going to the department store to buy some shoes for me.

Department store. Buy Shoes. Got it.

So the whole family drove to Sears, the Eaton’s Centre or whatever was around in the early 80s and began our quest, when a few minutes into entering the multi-level department store…. Little Mikey had disappeared.   It’s clearly at this point of tale where I verbally berate my mother for letting their precious angel out of their site.  I think now, knowing this is coming, she’s started to change her story a little… so I try to let her editorialize unless she really veers off track.

For what my mother claims was nearly half an hour (see 5 minutes probably), my parents frantically searched through every department, every floor, and every bathroom in this department store trying to find me.   They first checked the toy section, then electronics, men’s clothes, women’s clothes, and then anywhere they could… no Mikey.

And then when they had both given up hope, a clerk tells my mother they’ve found her son.

While my parents were thinking the worst and kicking themselves for not being more attentive, their little son, had never been lost at all.   Apparently, I had managed to find my way into the shoe section of the department store and had even solicited the help of a salesman to help me start trying on shoes… attempting to complete the task I was told we were there for.

It’s at this point in the story that I like to tell people, “See, only 5 years old, and already I’m just trying to get shit done.”

We are who we are I guess.

Categories: Just Good Stories... | Leave a comment

Are you the stepping stone to her dreams?

Posted on March 7, 2011 by Michael

One of the best things that I’ve learnt over the past two years is that its okay to walk out of a movie theater if you think the film sucks. And Hall Pass, with Owen Wilson is the epitome of “sucks”.  Although for the 30 minutes I watched of the film there was one amazing piece of dialogue that actually had me thinking long after I had left the theater.

Wilson’s character was trying to convince his friend to be a good husband and forget about their week off from marriage and just grovel to their wives for forgiveness.  But the retort from the friend, played by Jason Sudekis (famous for SNL and dating January Jones), was interesting.

Sudekis asked Wilson if he was living his dream or not (which clearly he wasn’t, he was an emasculated suburban dad). Then he went to explain how his unhappiness and mediocrity in life was in direct correlation to his wife getting to live her dreams.

He went on to say that women, as little girls, most generally dream about their wedding day and having a husband, a nice house and a baby.  Sure, there are women with some grander ambitions, but at the core (from an evolutionary and Cosmo perspective) women are programmed to dream of this life.    And Wilson’s character, by buying her their house, getting her pregnant (twice), and making her a wife and a mother he directly made her dreams come true.  Whereas his getting married, pretty much shut down any dream that he ever had as a little boy.

No man I’ve ever met dreams of paying a mortgage, supporting a family on his income, and only having sex with one woman for the rest of his life.    I’m not saying there is anything wrong with this lifestyle, I’m just saying no male dreams of this scenario as an succesful end goal…. ever.  It just seems to be where the majority end up.

Now, I try not to make it a habit or getting my philosophical ponderings from terrible films, but I must say, this part definitely wasn’t as stupid as the rest of the dialogue

NOTE: This entire post is more of an open hypothetical question than an actual opinion but I do think its an interesting perspective.

How many men dream of big things in the teenage years?

They dream of being the superstar athlete, the successful executive, a famous actor, or maybe jet setting entrepreneur.  And in th end the idea is that one spouse is living within their goal and the other isn’t.  The women have aspired to something (being a loving wife and mother) and achieved it and can hang their hat on that, whereas the other spouse has arrived at a reality that was more of a compromise and a  Plan B (or maybe C or D).

To be clear, contrary to my girlfriend’s opinion, I don’t have a problem with marriage, directly anyways.  I think making a lifelong commitment to someone is a very good thing, and raising children that actually contribute positively to society is a task most people don’t even take the time to appreciate until their kid turns 13… but I just wonder how many guys out there wake up at age 40 or 50 and realize that their dreams were sacrificed so that their wives could live theirs.

Or even, how many people, men and women, are living out relationships that they truly know aren’t right for them because they feel it’s easier to stick with the current person than venturing back into the unknown in the chance of finding someone that’s truly your perfect match?

The Male/Female relationship dynamic is definitely one of the more interesting things to talk about because its so multi-faceted, and I really don’t have an answer.  But the truth is, you’re the only one that can answer all of those questions.

Is your life a compromise for fear of achieving bigger things or is it the path you really want?  And of course usually, unless you’re really in the shit, you’ll tell those closest to you how amazing your life is, but when you and I go to sleep at night, or get up in the morning…. only the person in mirror really knows if we’re exactly where we want to be.

Not a bad thought experiment for a shitty movie though. ;)

Categories: Open Discussions, Philosophical Arguments | Leave a comment

Are you WINNING?

Posted on March 4, 2011 by Michael

Man, I love Charlie Sheen,

Finally, a ranting celebrity that I don’t want to see maimed by a wolf.  Sure, Sheen’s eccentic, but he was the jock on The Breakfast Club for chrissakes.  The guy has been super famous since the 80s.

That’s over 30 years of living in a world that most of us will never have any idea about. And no, reading InTouch magazine doesn’t qualify you as an insider. Although it might quality you as mentally absent.

Charlie Sheen was in Platoon, Wall Street, and then a bunch of other stuff along the way… and then 8 years ago he started starring in the now #1 comedy on television- Two and A Half Men.   This guy IS a celebrity rockstar.  Who also, lets not forget, comes from a famous family.  He’s Hollywood Royalty.

So why is it that everyone is so shocked or surprised that he’s turned out as an eccentric who thinks his life is just one “WIN!” after another… News Flash!  Sheen’s life is exactly that, one big win after another.  His life is just one perpetual celebration. Sure he’s a high functioning alcoholic, but I can name probably one hundred people that are consistently sober whose brains barely function at all.   Given the choice, I would choose Team Sheen in a heartbeat.

On the scale of success in which we actually judge each other,  Charlie Sheen is kicking some serious ass.  He spent more money by the time he was 25 than most people will make in their life times, and has probably seen and experienced things that married men who hide their porn addictions from their wives can only hope to even find online.   Though ironically, since everyone now knows which porn star he lives with, I’m sure her online search queries are through the roof.

Society seems to ascribe everyone to this life of mediocrity, and made it acceptable to lead a mediocre life.  And sure, there is nothing wrong, or mistaken to live a “normal” or mediocre life, but let’s at least be honest with ourselves.  There are some people out there that strive to live large!  These people try to live up to their own dreams and ideals, and sometimes its quickly or sometimes its slowly, but eventually most of these people pull away from the pack and its obvious who is living and who isn’t.

Like Oscar Wilde said:  “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”

I’ll admit, I know people that are truly living their lives. They dismiss the nonsensical goals and restrictions pushed on most of us by family or peers, and they aim higher. And contrary to popular belief, this Tiger Blood mentality (which Sheen claims he has) has absolutely nothing to do with money, it has to do with simply trying, and honesty.

We live in a society where a mass amount of people work in institutions that were founded and built upon the idea of easily replaceable workers, structured into a factory, a union, or a corporation, without many options except…

“Follow our rules, collect a stable paycheck, say what we tell you to say, retire, collect your pension, and go quietly into that sweet night.”

For better or for worse this is something I”ve never been able to do, normal institutions and most ideals passed down by my parents and grandparents have never made sense to me. Not because they don’t mean well in their advice or suggestions, but their era is a vastly different era than we live in today.   Much more is possible today than even 10 years ago, nevermind 20, 30, or 40 years ago.

We have to stop listening to our parents, or those we are told are in charge and take their words as gospel (or even taking the gospel as gospel).   Most of these “authority” figures haven’t a clue what they are talking about, they’re just passing down what someone else told them.  Just because a paradigm of thought made sense yesterday, does not necessarily make it true today.  Too many people are living their lives without thinking and just doing whatever is easiest opposed to what is needed to live the lives they expect of themselves.

I admit, I struggle with this each and everyday.   I definitely have the tiger blood, and its my goal not to live a life of mediocrity, but actually following through is not easy.  Getting up everyday and not taking the easier path, which may or may not include a 4  hour nap, an ice cream, and some funny cartoons is a constant challenge.  But its one I continually have to make in order to keep WINNING.

The hardest part of this process is just being honest with myself and asking,  “Where do I really want to be in X amount of months, years, etc?” and then I have to be honest with what it will take to get there.

Its like losing weight, you might want to eat a cheesecake, but you have to be honest with yourself that every bite of that cheesecake is either undoing, or slowing down your progress to your ideal weight.   And people that continue to take the easy (or easier) route for each and every decision of their lives will eventually find themselves in a place that even clever rationalization won’t help them with. Although ironically, some cheesecake might numb the pain (insert reference to north america’s obesity epidemic).

So let’s all try to avoid a fate in which we let ourselves down.

Because if we exist in a state of apathy for long enough we’ll begin to think its the way life should be, and its not. Lets be serious, those that really know you notices if you’re not living up to your potential, just like they notice if you do.  And I think too many times we think we are fooling everyone, but if you can’t fool yourself, why should the rest of us be fooled?

Life is about chasing everything you want out of it.  So if that means dumping/divorcing someone, quitting your job, selling your house, or just flat out starting to listen to the kid inside your head that is still crying out loud for you to follow your dreams and have some more fun…. well, then that’s up to you to do.

As for me, I am going to try to keep channeling my inner Charlie Sheen, stay honest with my own goals vs. the imposed goals of my peers/family/mediocre society and keep on winning until there’s no more time left on the clock.

Because if you’re not winning, you’re losing… especially if you’re not even in the game.

Good luck!

Categories: Funny Thoughts and Observations, Open Discussions | Leave a comment