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The God Loop Hole

Posted by on August 21, 2009

In case you haven’t noticed, God’s got a pretty sweet gig.

Think about it.

He’s omniscient, all powerful, uber forgiving, and all those other neat super powers you can read about in Bible Comics. 

In what occupation in this planet can you combine the power, influence, and fame that is blindly given to high-celebrity, with the lack of accountability most of our school teachers currently enjoy? That’s right, there’s only one…

The Supreme Being.

Supernatural Overlord. 

The big…G-O-D.

Think about it.

Let’s say Johnny Christian finds out his best friend Skippy has cancer. Johnny’s first thought isn’t, “God, that jerk, why did he give Skippy cancer?”

Nope. Johnny usually goes straight to the, “Please wonderful God who controls the planet and makes all decisions for all of us, please save Skippy. I promise to go to church more often, never to swear, and I will burn my collection of Big Beautiful Booties. Just please save Skippy”. 

Not only does big G not take any of the blame for something that happens on his all powerful watch, but he acquires groupies begging for his mercy.  I mean, I’ve seen some high quality scams, but this is the crème de la crème.

Because then, even if Skippy takes a turn for the worst and ends up kicking the bucket, you think Johnny Christian would finally stand up and say,

“Listen G, WTF man? I stopped swearing, threw away all my favourite Big Beautiful Booties, and you still took Skipped.  What a jerk move! You can get your $10 a week from someone else!! We are through!”

But even THAT doesn’t happen. 

Instead, it turns into one of, “It just wasn’t in God’s plan”, “He’s in a better place now”, or my personal favourite, “God must have needed Skippy more than we needed him”.

Sure, because an all-knowing, all-powerful creature needs some random human to help him run the universe. That’s like Obama recruiting a parakeet to help him reform healthcare. I’m not buying it.

I just have never understood why it’s always an undisputed fact that God controls everything and decides on everything, but no one ever blames him for the tragedies that take place every day or holds him accountable for his decisions.  All I am looking for (though know I will never find) is a little more consistency in thought.

Imagine all men everywhere had this sort of influence:

Man– “Honey, I just wanted to let you know that I slept with your sister a few nights ago. I hope that’s alright.”

Woman– “WHAT? How dare you sleep with my sister?  I thought you were going to be faithful to me forever. You told me that if I had no other husbands other than you and didn’t covet anything that you would be a good husband to me and we would live a good life?”

Men– “Well, unfortunately, I know that’s what you thought, and you were great, but that just wasn’t the plan I had in mind.  My plan had always included me sleeping with your sister.”

Woman– “Oh, okay. Well, you must’ve needed her for a good reason then, I know how important that plan is”

Men– “Good, I’m glad. And by the way, Grey’s Anatomy has just been cancelled.”

Maybe this is why we never hold anyone accountable for their actions in today’s society. Perhaps this is why we accept substandard behaviour in everything from our educational and financial systems down to our personal relationships. If God is in control of everything, if he’s driving the car, “what the hell could we possibly do?”

Rarely do we ever hold one another accountable for our actions.

Rarely do we ever hold ourselves accountable for our decisions.

Rarely do we ever hold ourselves to a standard any higher than the last mistake we made.

It’s important to fail.

In fact, it should be encouraged, but not without productive, positive intent, and genuine effort.

We seem to be a society without standards, merely a line in the sand without rhyme or reason to its place.   

Too many people on this planet are so used to putting the fate of the world into God’s unaccountable hands, they’ve forgotten how to use their own.

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