Well, it appears The When Harry Met Sally Debate is a sensitive issue. Apparently nobody is too keen on their significant other dedicating time to their “platonic” (bullshit) male/female friends.
I think there is one thing people need to understand, for most things, men and women are THE SAME. Say it with me everyone…Men AND women ARE THE SAME. Sure there are the obvious things that set us apart, but when it comes to relationships the similarities are too much to count. There are women that whore around, just as there are men that like to whore around. There are women that think its disgusting to sleep around and there men of the same opinion. All of us operate at all stages of the emotional spectrum and its most important to find someone that exists within the same area of reason and logic as you do.
Having at once been part of the “seriously, we’re just friends, he doesn’t see me like that” delusional argument its rather hard for me to blame the single guy/girl on the outside. Because essentially they’re just doing their job. They’re single, on the hunt, and looking for a mate. In my opinion, its the responsibility of the person IN the relationship that has to clearly draw the boundaries of those “friendships”. Single people for the most part are drones of loneliness looking for validation from the opposite sex. Some are MUCH worse than others of course, and seem to not be able to function as a human being without some sort of attention from the opposite sex. But every single one of us needs validation of some sort. Those in relationships get it from the comfort and affection from their significant other (ideally), where the singles crowd get their sustenance from…well, whoever the hell is giving it away. Its usually a matter of self-worth that determines how much validation you’re typically looking for.
A lot of times it seems to be the naivety of one of the partners that just doesn’t seem to grasp the fact that so-and-so just might be hanging around in hopes that the bottom falls out of your relationship. I’ll take it one step further and give you an example…
I once had a girlfriend that would come home from work and tell me about a certain male co-worker she had that all the other girls at the office adored. She would then proceed to tell me that this guy would constantly tell her how he would break up with his girlfriend for her immediately if she’d break up with me. Cool. And then, this lovely girlfriend I had would proceed to call me too jealous when I would be unimpressed when she would hang out with this guy outside of work hours. Now I don’t think I was outside of my boundaries to have a grievance with this.
Even though I had many the dream of stabbing this man in the neck with a rusty fork, ultimately I can’t blame him. He’s the wolf and I’m just the guy guarding the chicken coop. I can understand this guy coming after my girlfriend, after all, if I thought she was great (at the time) why shouldn’t other people? But what irked me, is that if this guy had been properly put in his place from the beginning there shouldn’t be an issue. End of story.
This debate I’m sure will rage on long after we’re all dead and buried. People will be riding around in their flying cars arguing over why Jill keeps using Bobby’s teleporter instead of her own. At the end of the day, I think its very important to have respect for the person you’re with. And if you happen to find yourself in a situation that you wouldn’t like to see your girlfriend/boyfriend involved in, then you need to reevaluate yourself and your motives, or perhaps your relationship.
This is a little off from the topic, but take a look at this hysterical Chris Rock clip about Love and Relationships. I’ve seen it a 1001 times and I still find it funny.