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These people should be hunted down

Posted by on October 12, 2007

You get home from a long day at work, change into more comfortable clothes, have a light snack and sit down to check some personal emails and unwind a little bit from your day.

You log into your yahoo or hotmail or gmail account and find in the 24hrs since you last checked your account you’ve accumulated 12 new emails. It may only be emails but there’s still a little excitement involved when you think 12 people are trying to get in contact with you. Its the lesser effect to finding a hand written letter addressed to you in the mail slot.

So you go ahead and click on INBOX only to find that the first message in the thread was a mass email invite to some gathering, concert or other event you will not be attending and the remaining 11 are from the digitally retarded who have REPLIED ALL to make sure the other 50 people invited either know that they’re coming or why, oh why, they will not be able to make it.

I understand the need for the REPLY ALL button when an opinion or consensus is needed but lets get something straight; If you receive an emailed invitation that was also sent to more than 3 people outside of your core group of friends, a simple REPLY will do the trick. Here’s a few additional tips, on the house:

The rest of us emailed don’t care if you’ll be in Vegas at that time. Go to Vegas and leave us out of it.

For those of you living in Ecuador, Sri Lanka, Norway, or rural mainland China when you receive the e-vite, we get it, you’re not gonna make it.

Unless you have just been diagnosed with cancer, or some other possibly fatal illness, no one cares if you’re sick and WISH you could make it, because now I’m wishing you were sicker and unable to operate a keyboard.

And we REALLY don’t care if you’re coming and really excited for the whole event. Please contain your excitement to your own IP address.

The only time you should be hitting Reply All to a mass invitation is if you have something to offer us all. I don’t care if its another invitation, some words of wisdom or even if you’re just giving out lollipops. If someone wishes to say something funny, I will read it, but if its not funny then you’re just another fool that clicked the wrong button.

So please, use the Reply All button with caution because I’m not the only person out there just waiting to hate you.

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