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Welcome To The Gaydar Olympics

Posted by on April 25, 2009

Every day most of  us check the newspaper or a quick glimpse of the nightly news to see what bank has failed or if perhaps there is even a glimmer of hope that the world economy is ready for a recovery.  But the circus act that is American politics and news usually gets in the way of any decent information.  Typically you have to sift through Lindsay Lohan’s latest fall further into anonymity, at least one Conservative per day calling Obama a socialist without any clue what the word means, and of course what happened on, or will be happening on Lost this week.  Its all really quite exhausting.

Unfortunately, through all of this, the only subject that seems to span every demographic, every newspaper, and every TV station regardless if it involves politics, celebrity gossip, local news, or sports, is the whole, “They’ve been speculated to be gay, but have yet to confirm or deny the claim.”

I call it, The Gaydar Olympics.

At this time, though I think he’s lost a step in the past year I’d like to invoke a new section on Perfectly Turbulent inspired by Bill Maher. Its called New Rules

Today’s New Rule:  Speculating whether someone may or may not be gay IS NOT NEWS.

gay_drill

Find Out Who The Most Recent Gaydar Contestant Is…

The most recent contender at The Gaydar Olympics is apparently US Weekly (big shock) in a recent report on if Hugh Jackman is gay. The fact that this article was even printed is a step in the wrong direction but at least Jackman had something good to say on the subject.

“I’d be happy to go and deny it, because I’m not,” he says in this Sunday’s Parade magazine. “But by denying it, I’m saying there is something shameful about it, and there isn’t anything shameful.”

Questions about the star’s sexuality surfaced when he played gay Australian songwriter Peter Allen in Broadway’s The Boy from Oz, for which he won a Tony award in 2004 and performed in his native Australia in 2006.

“The questions about sexuality I find more here in America than anywhere else, because it’s a big hang-up and defines what people think about themselves and others,” the actor, 40, adds. “It’s not a big issue in Australia.”

Did everyone catch that middle part? How Jackman’s sexuality came into question because he won an award for playing a gay songwriter on Broadway.  Its like everyone that went to see him said, “Wow, Hugh Jackman was amazing at that gay guy, he MUST be gay himself.”

The truth of the matter is that intelligent, rational, thoughtful people do not care who is or is not gay. Unless CNN or TMZ or the ABC Nightly News is currently reporting that your spouse, immediate relative, or best friend is gay, it should not be of any concern to you, or me, or anyone else for that matter.   For those lovely people that need to know everyone in the world that is gay so they know who to hate and who shouldn’t marry, well, I think they opted out of the common sense gene pool long ago.  The “same sex is wrong and evil” crowd seem to get all the information they need from the bible anyways, so lets start posting the Clay Aitken and Hugh Jackman Gaydar articles in the Sunday bulletin and be done with it. The rest of us don’t care.

There is one exception I would like to make on this matter for personal reasons.  If someone, anyone, has any sort of proof that Rachel McAdams and Elizabeth Banks may, for any period of time, past or present, possibly be involved in a lesbian relationship I would appreciate hearing about that. It doesn’t have to be on TV, or in my newspaper, but if someone could leave a comment on this blog, or mail the report to my house, I would really appreciate it.

The funniest part about this whole society is that we should know better, but we don’t.  We’ve supposedly evolved  three hundred years from the time of the Salem Witch Trials where women were condemned based almost entirely on gossip and public opinion, not surprisingly by the same group of “thinkers”  largely responsible for the Queen Hunt of today.

I guess to a certain degree everyone picks a battle with a segment of society they feel is keeping us from a better tomorrow, and I understand that, usually I applaud it, but gay marriage….really?

THIS is their big fight?

Taking a stand against Neil Patrick Harris and Ellen Degeneres from marrying the people they love and raising children in a loving, caring environment.  This is the issue that is keeping them awake at night?  And essentially, the best part of all this, their biggest and best argument is a rhyme about Adam and Steve vs. Adam and Eve. From what I’ve seen, that’s their big strategic defense.  Well that, and not wanting to have to explain homosexuality to their children, so basically apathetic parenting is also an essential part of their master plan.

All I know is that next time I’m confronted with “breaking news” about the latest outing, I plan to put on my Who Cares t-shirt and hat and just keep walking.

Below are two great bits by Louis C.K., I’ve found to further my point.  This is an absolutely hilarious bit of comedy.

I love this guy….relax, not like that.

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