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World’s dumbest phrases…

Posted by on September 27, 2007

There’s a lot of things that have been passed down through the years that really have little purpose, and don’t make much sense at all. Sadly, we never seem to ban together to do away with them.

A short list would be things like royal families, female comedians, brussel sprouts, and arguably most of the southern United States.

There are also a large amount of phrases that have kept going strong with absolutely no rhyme or reason to their longevity. Throughout this blog, my diabolical plan is to bring these phrases into the public spotlight again so whenever they are used aloud as part of a normal conversation their users can be squashed and ridiculed.

Today’s phrase is…. “Full of piss and vinegar”

Meaning: Rowdy, boisterous, full of youthful energy.

Context: “Won’t you look at that kid, light on his feet and just full of piss and vinegar.”

This doesn’t make any sense to me at all. I’ve never – what I imagine would be a memorable experience – tasted urine but I would guess, if anything it would fill me with rage, disgust, and soon after, buckets of vomit. So lets move onto vinegar. Vinegar, since oddly enough I actually had to drink 3 spoonfulls last week to combat a rather unpleasant stomach bug I can tell you first hand is unpleasant and I was anything BUT boisterous afterwards.

White vinegar is very acidic, bitter and searing. Trust me. I also made the tragic mistake of drinking a teaspoon of WINE vinegar, which was possibly my worst decision of 2007. Wine vinegar is much more unforgiving. It burns from the first moment it touches the inside of your mouth, and is torturous the entire way into the stomach. I imagine that’s why it cured my stomach ache, because I was too busy concentrating on the rest of the pain shooting through my body.

So from now on, if someone uses the phrase ‘full of piss and vinegar’ I will automatically assume they are constantly angry, in an awful amount of pain, and as logic would have it, probably have a dreadful case of halitosis.

The only possible way this phrase even has an outside chance of getting my blessing is if its founder for some reason actually mixed urine and vinegar and found it miraculously tasted like a strawberry milkshake with the envigorating effects of a Red Bull.

As I’ve stated on this site before, I’m just the idea guy. I have no plans of actually conducting this research so feel free to follow through and write me regarding the results.

I’d also love to hear any other phrases you find to be utterly ridiculous

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